


kisses are better when they're sweet

by thestarlight



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: ! - Freeform, (you will see), Cute, Fluff and Angst, Johnny is a whipped boy, Johnny is so soft ok, Kisses, M/M, Mutual Pining, Slow Burn, Taeyong too :-(, and also smooches, but also a little wack but it's okay!!!, dumbasses in love, honestly the best johnyong, it's kinda good, just two idiots who can't get their feelings together, lee taeyong is kinda shy and panicky around Johnny sometimes, like really slow I'm sorry, ok that's all I can think of, soft johnyong, the candy, this took two months to finish
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-16
Updated: 2019-02-16
Packaged: 2019-10-26 12:32:50
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 20,363
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17745968
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thestarlight/pseuds/thestarlight
Summary: “Hey Taeyong,” Johnny calls, and Taeyong cocks his head to the side, looking into Johnny’s eyes softly.“Yes, Johnny?”Johnny sucks in a deep breath and he looks down, contemplating what he’s about to say.“Would you like a kiss?”Taeyong almost falls off his bike, as it catches him off guard, but manages to steady himself before he can. His eyes are to the ground and he perchs his bike up by its stand and looks at Johnny.“Wh-What?”orJohnny offers Taeyong kisses in a subtle way to get him to notice he wants more than what they have.





	kisses are better when they're sweet

**Author's Note:**

> trigger warnings: mentions of bad parents, food, alcohol, and sickness. 
> 
> Hey everyone! Thanks for reading. I'd like to say this right away, so yes! This is completely fictional and not real whatsoever. This in no way portrays them in real life. 
> 
> Also, Johnny is is extremely descriptive about everything!! He's super cool!!! 
> 
> This alternates POVs so I hope you're not too confused with it. 
> 
> Certain things are mentioned in here that don't really go into depth, which is why I may be considering writing a second part to this in a way to explain all the stuff mentioned but never really gone into except for a few times. Also, this takes course over a couple months, but Taeyong and Johnny have liked each other for way longer than that so it's not super rushed feelings. I hope this clears some things up!
> 
>  
> 
> (sorry for the bump, i edited a few spacing and errors that i made. this is an updated version!)

_“Don’t you think it’s a little creepy you know the exact candy Taeyong likes?”_ Doyoung hums, _“Well, at least because you’ve barely talked.”_

 

He’s on the other end of the line and Johnny is standing in the middle of a supermarket, holding two different kinds of Hershey’s Kisses. One plain, the other caramel filled.

 

“Don’t you think you have anything better to do than ridicule me on who I’m trying to impress?” Johnny snips back.

 

He finally decides on just getting the regular ones, because surely he can’t go wrong with the classic flavor, “I’m going with the regular ones.”

 

 _“Well, I think the caramel ones would be sweeter.”_ Doyoung replies, sounding like he’s shuffling around, doing something other than giving Johnny his complete attention.

 

Johnny picks the caramel up and sighs.

 

“I think they’re too swe-” a loud crash sounds on the other end, “-et. Doyoung, what was that?” Johnny asks and switches his phone to the other side of his body, between his cheek and shoulder to look down the aisle at Yuta, who is busy flirting with some boy in the makeup aisle.

 

 _“Jungwoo just slipped going up the stairs,”_ he responds, then quickly adds, _“and yes, he’s okay, Lucas is helping him.”_

 

Another crash. This time, Johnny laughs.

 

“There goes Lucas.” Johnny tosses the regular kisses back onto the shelf, and begins his walk towards the cashier, rummaging through his back pockets to fish out his wallet. He turns around, covering the bottom of his phone, “Yuta! Do you have any spare change on you?”

 

Yuta ignores him, so Johnny being the ass he is, picks up a pen and throws it at the back of Yuta’s head.

 

“Asshole!” Yuta yells.

 

 _“Johnny, I can still hear you yelling at Yuta for money,”_ Doyoung laughs, _“Your wallet is in your left front pocket.”_

 

Johnny lets out a huff.

 

“Why would it be-“ Johnny sighs, upon finding the grey leather wallet, “Never mind _._ ”

 

 _“Ha, you should stop doubting me, I’m basically your soulmate so it’s kind of homophobic of you to do so.”_ Doyoung jokes.

 

“I’m literally gay, Doyoung,” Johnny’s phone is on the register now, plugging his ear buds into the phone so he can self checkout. He gets a few odd stares, but brushes them off and continues, “Besides, you like that Jaehyun kid.”

 

 _“Your point?”_ Doyoung says, _“We’re platonic soulmates.”_

 

Johnny inspects his purchase for a little while longer, and then groans.

 

“Are you sure the caramel will be better than the regular?” Johnny holds them in his hands and considers rushing back and changing them, maybe getting cherry or mint.

 

 _“I’m his best friend, he loves caramel,”_ Doyoung shrugs off, _“You have class in an hour and you’re still bitching about fucking kisses. Just buy some, maybe a few. I don’t fucking know.”_

 

“I’ll have you know I am only trying to be sentimental,”

 

 _“Sentimental my ass, you just wanna get in his pants,”_ a voice cuts in on the other end, _“Whose pants?”_

 

And Doyoung says, _“Lee Taeyong’s.”_

 

Johnny blushes slightly.

 

“Actually I’ve liked Taeyong since my second year of college,” Johnny bites back, “I wanna date him, I don’t wanna get in his pants. I-I mean I _do_ but with love.”

 

 _“With love!”_ Doyoung laughs, _“You’re whipped.”_

 

“Like whipped cream,” Johnny replies easily.

 

 _“You know what? I bet Taeyong likes to be whipped.”_ Doyoung whispers, _“How do you feel about that Johnny?”_

 

“I will end this call right here, then come over there and—“ Johnny remembers he’s in public and settles with, “Whatever floats his boat I guess.”

 

 _“You’re weird.”_ Doyoung hums softly, _“Well I need to go. Lucas and Jungwoo are about to make cookies and uh… I don’t want the house to catch on fire. Bye!”_

 

There’s not a chance to say bye, so Johnny just sighs inwardly and bags his items. _Hershey’s Caramel filled Kisses, a pack of spearmint gum, a can of cherry soda, and ibuprofen._ An odd combination but, what the hell? He’s a broke college student.

 

He drags the flirt, (Yuta), from the store and right before Johnny can scold him for getting distracted, Johnny trips over another person’s feet.  Instead of Johnny falling, the person who tripped him falls.

 

Johnny grabs their arm, noticing he can just wrap his fingers around their entire bicep and almost says something but his breath catches when he notices that it’s fucking _Taeyong._

 

“Oh,” Taeyong grumbles, “Sorry. I wasn’t looking where I was going.”

 

“No worries, me neither.” Johnny laughs, releasing the boy’s arm and steadying him, “Uh... What brings you here?”

 

“I have to pick up my migraine prescription. I’m running late though.” Taeyong responds, “... You?”

 

“Just shopping.”

 

“I see, very fashionable stuff here.” Taeyong gestures, “Their toilet paper jackets? To die for.”

 

“You’re funny, Taeyong.”

 

“Only with the people I like.” The shorter muses.

 

Johnny looks at him with fond eyes.

 

“You like me?” Johnny teases, and though he knows what Taeyong had meant, he really just wants to get him flustered and test the waters.

 

“I mean.. Yeah?” Taeyong responds, “You’re really nice, and we share common interests like dance and music, so what’s not to like?”

 

Johnny blushes, clearly seeing that Taeyong didn’t really get the joke that was _supposed_ to make him flustered and maybe even blush. But, Taeyong definitely had that comment fly above his head and just responded purely.

 

“Oh, I like you too,” Johnny smiles, _I like you a lot._

 

“I’ll see you tomorrow,” Taeyong peers over his shoulder, “If I keep Taeil and Ten waiting any longer in the car I’ll become extinct.”

 

“Oh, not a problem,” Johnny grins, “Yuta and I have to get to class anyways.”

 

“It was really nice talking to you, see you in Calculus,” Taeyong disappears into the store and Yuta nudges him gently. Instead of replying, Johnny just nudges him back a little harder making the blond stumble.

 

“I didn’t even say anything!” Yuta groans, “You’re so stubborn, just ask him out!”

 

“Why don’t you ask out that boy you were flirting with?” Johnny responds, “Sicheng, right? You’ve liked him for what? Five years now?”

 

“You’re an asshole, I’m just a baby boy.”

 

“Then keep your nose out of my business you baby,” Johnny says, “I’ll ask him when I’m ready, but first I need to find subtle ways to flirt with him.”

 

“Why don’t you ask him if he wants a kiss everyday until he gets the memo that you dream of bruising his lips,” Yuta says cheekily, “You’re a smooth guy, well.. When you want to be..” Yuta watches as Johnny misses the ledge and falls over his own feet, and he laughs.

 

“You ass,” the taller groans, “What part of not being ready to tell him did you not get? I’m not just gonna ask if he wants a kiss every day.”

 

“For being a Science major your stupidity outstands me,” Yuta grabs the bag in Johnny’s hand and pulls the Hershey’s Kisses out, “Ask him if he wants a kiss you idiot.”

 

“Oh,” Johnny replies, “Oh?”

 

“See, I’m a genius,” Yuta places a hand under his chin and smiles, and Johnny looks at him with an annoyed expression., “Hey! Don’t look at me like that!”

 

❥

 

Johnny is ridiculously tired, he doesn’t know if it’s the lack of sleep, or just the amount of stress he has on his shoulders since picking up another Biology course. He did love Science and he loved to do what he did, but when with four projects to do that all require an essay with at least five thousand words each, he finds himself drifting.

 

He’s only completed two, and the worst ones were saved for last because he knew his motivation would evaporate into thin air otherwise.

 

So, Johnny finds himself sitting in the library, books piled next to him, with two ten-page packets in front of him, a laptop open to google documents, and countless of other papers around his as well. His glasses sit on the bridge of his nose, and he can feel his eyes just wanting to close, just wanting to sleep away his problems. However, he doesn’t allow that.

 

Instead he pushes himself to at least get both of the projects he has left halfway done and then take a five minute break. It’s only five pm on a Friday night and the library closes at 11:30, so he definitely has time to do this.

 

In just under three hours he’s taken one break and has two-thirds of each project done, so he rewards himself with a quick resting of his head on the table, and only plans to do it for a few minutes. Well, a few short minutes turns into three hours until he’s awakened by a tap on his shoulder and a soft, quiet voice.

 

“Hey, Johnny,” it says, “the library is closing.”

 

Johnny jolts and rubs the sleep from his eyes, making eye contact with whoever had awakened him. It’s Taeyong, and the boy is wearing his glasses with a nice red and black striped turtleneck and skinny jeans.

 

“Oh shit,” Johnny curses, “I only meant to sleep for ten minutes.”

 

“Oh. If I had known I’d have woken you up earlier, sorry.” Taeyong apologizes sincerely, “but you looked so peaceful, and it was probably a well deserved rest as you’ve been here since 11 am, and have only taken two breaks.”

 

“Ah, I really needed to finish my projects,” Johnny confesses, even though it clearly wasn’t a secret or anything to hide.

 

“Have you eaten today?” Taeyong asks, “I don’t think you have, you must be so hungry.”

 

“Only lunch...” Johnny hums and checks his watch, “About...ten hours ago.”

 

“Ah, you’re an idiot, I’ll take you somewhere, my treat.” Taeyong grins, “You should go easier on yourself, school may be important, but your mental health is more important!

 

“No, no, Taeyong. I’ll be okay, I’ll eat when I get home.”

 

“Oh, come on Johnny, please...” Taeyong whines, and Johnny sighs gently and sends a smile to the other boy.

 

“Alright, alright,” Johnny gives in, “but only because you said please.”

 

“I promise you’ll have the best meal of your life tonight!” Taeyong says excitedly, “Here, I’ll help you clean up.” Johnny is about to protest, but Taeyong is already organizing his papers, and rearranging them to arrange them in color order.

 

“Do you enjoy organizing?” Johnny asks, and a smile forms on the younger’s lips.

 

“I do, I find comfort in it.” Taeyong replies, “Besides, it will be easier to study like this.”

 

“That’s nice, I’m very unorganized, as you can see.” Johnny says, fixing up his own papers and pulling his folder out.

 

“That’s okay, everyone is different when it comes to things like this.”

 

“That they are,” Johnny responds.

 

A comfortable silence falls upon them, and it only takes about ten minutes to clean up, and Johnny realizes it’s past closing time.

 

“Oh, oh god are we locked in the library?” Taeyong exclaims, his body is suddenly tense, “I was so distracted I didn’t even notice that the lights were powered off.”

 

His grip on the book in his hands tightens, and he looks around, noticing there is no one but them here. There is a single light on that can be seen just barely, giving the room at least a little bit of light.

 

“We can just call them, though they might not be too happy.” Johnny shrugs, “It’s okay.”

 

Taeyong nods stiffly and hands Johnny the last pile of papers.

 

“Taeyong, you’re shaking, are you alright?” There’s no response, Taeyong is just looking down at the table, looking as if he’d seen a ghost, “Taeyong?”

 

“Huh? Oh, I’m fine. I just think I’m getting a migraine.” Taeyong rubs his forehead, “When I’m stressed or nervous they come really easily.”

 

“Are you stressed about something?”  

 

“A little bit,” Taeyong replies, he doesn’t make eye contact with Johnny when he says it, his face paling, “A little bit.”

 

“Do you want to talk about it?” Johnny smiles gently at him, then rests a hand on his arm and rubs it.

 

“Um...” Taeyong mumbles out, “I really hate scary things.”

 

“Oh,” Johnny looks down and lightly smiles at him, “Well, does that include the dark?”

 

“Yeah...” Taeyong whispers, “I’ve just never grown out of the fear, you know? And it’s so stupid of me, that I’m twenty two years old and still being a baby about horror movies and the dark.”

 

“Hey, everyone handles things differently, who cares if you’re scared of the dark? Someone can be afraid of anything at any age,” Johnny replies, “Fear doesn’t have an age limit, and hey, I’m terrified of the ocean. It’s my worst fear and just the thought of it makes me cringe and feel anxious.”

 

“Johnny...” Taeyong mumbles out, “Thank you.”

 

Johnny just pats Taeyong’s head and then allows him to hold his arm so he’s not as scared anymore, even though it’s pretty tight Johnny certainly doesn’t mind being able to protect Taeyong from whatever he may be afraid of in the dark.

 

“How’s your head?” Johnny questions, and places a hand on his forehead, “You’re burning up, are you okay?”

 

“Ah...yeah. That’s just part of the beginning of my migraines,” he says quietly, “I’ll be okay, don’t worry.”

 

Johnny silences and looks around the library for any sign of a person, or maybe a worker? To his dismay no one is here and he finds it a little weird a security guard didn’t come and kick them out. They reach the front of the library, and Johnny pulls his phone out to call a staff member at the college, to come and let them out.

 

Taeyong has been awfully silent, his eyes resting and looking like he was focusing on staying calm. Johnny pats his head and then sits on the ground, pulling Taeyong to sit next to him.

 

“No need to worry anymore, someone is on their way,” Johnny coos softly, “You’re okay, I’m here and I won’t let anything happen to you.” Johnny reassures.

 

Taeyong looks up at him suddenly and nods.“If we ever happen to go near a beach, I’ll protect you,” Taeyong says.

 

“Thanks Tae,” Johnny lets the nickname slip out before he can stop himself, and he very much notices Taeyong’s blush.

 

He grins, but Taeyong isn’t facing him to see it. An abrupt sound of a door swinging open interrupts their thoughts, and a teacher calls for them.

 

“Alright, out you go,” she says, “you need to be more responsible with yourselves, it’s a school night and exams are in a few months.”

 

The two exit accordingly, and make their way to the entrance, but before Johnny can say anything Taeyong cuts him off.

 

“I’m still taking you out for dinner,” Taeyong grabs onto his arm, “you can’t protest.”

 

“Well, alright, I don’t see why not.” Johnny sighs, but there’s a billion butterflies in his stomach.

 

 _Dinner with Taeyong? Fuck._ Yuta would lose his shit.

 

Taeyong leads Johnny down to a bike rack and unchains his bike from it.

 

“Since there’s only one seat, hop on the back and I’ll pedal,” Taeyong tells him with a bright smile, but Johnny shakes his head.

 

“You’re smaller, you can get on the back,” Taeyong blushes and turns his head.

 

“I can do it,” Taeyong huffs, “come on.”

 

Johnny gives in and gets on the back of the bike and Taeyong gets on the front.

 

“Wrap your arms around my waist,” Taeyong says, “so you don’t fall off.”

 

Johnny obliges and rests his arms around Taeyong’s torso and takes notice of how small he actually is. Sure, Taeyong is pretty small, but he has nice broad shoulders and cute full cheeks. Johnny guesses he’s never noticed because Taeyong usually wears clothes a few sizes too big.

 

Today he’s in a tucked turtleneck and jeans with a belt tightened through the loops, showing off the curves of his body. He’s beautiful and Johnny would do anything to make Taeyong his own. Not like strictly his, but more like his boyfriend.

 

The ride is fairly smooth. Johnny thinks he underestimated Taeyong’s strength.

 

They arrive at a small restaurant called Blossom Bay that’s commonly known for their noodles and soup. The place is named Blossom Bay because of the cherry blossom trees that sit directly behind them, leading to a large cherry blossom pathway.

 

There is with a field of wildflowers and picnic areas. People often bought food at the restaurant and then took a trip down to the picnic tables and enjoyed the freshness and scenery.

 

Since it’s midnight, not many people are there and the workers were talking amongst themselves and cleaning tables. Taeyong clears his throat and a worker greets them with a nice smile and seats them at a couple booth, probably mistaking them as a couple rather than just friends coming back from being trapped in a library at midnight.

 

They both get their orders taken and then they’re chatting amongst themselves. Johnny takes this opportunity to get to know Taeyong. It’d help in the future, obviously.

 

“So, why were you at the library?”

 

“Oh, I was helping my friend Ten put away books, he works there and requested for me to help since I made him wait so long the other day,” Taeyong laughs gently, “I guess it was fate for us to get noodles together.”

 

Johnny nods shortly and looks outside, though it’s dark and barely anything is invisible beyond the light pouring from the restaurant window. The ground is covered in beautiful cherry blossom petals, making it appear pink and ethereal to the eyes. Taeyong seems to catch where Johnny’s gaze is and smiles.

 

“You know, back when I was younger my mom used to take me here, and we’d lay in the grass and look at the clouds,” Taeyong sighs, “She left us though, when I was about twelve. It broke my dad’s heart, and later we found out that she’d been cheating on him.” Johnny opens his mouth to say something, but closes it as he watches Taeyong’s glittery eyes look away and looks at the menu, “I miss her, but I also hate her for making my dad suffer like that.”

 

“I know how you feel,” Johnny says, “I only have my mom.”

 

Taeyong doesn’t press further, as he knows if Johnny wanted to share it he would, so he just called the waitress over and she takes their orders. Taeyong orders something small, and he tells Johnny he can order as big as he wants - but not wanting to be rude he just settles with a normal sized dish.

 

Johnny has probably got Yuta worried sick. He remembers the last time he came home late and Yuta cried and yelled at him because he was worried something had happened to him. He justified himself though, he’s six foot (could be taller, he’s not keeping up nowadays).

 

“Taeyong, do you mind if I call my friend real quick?” Johnny asks, “He might be really worried right now, I haven’t talked to him since before five.”

 

“Go right ahead, I’m not stopping you.” Taeyong smiles. Johnny thanks him silently and steps outside. He dials Yuta’s number, then awaits the pickup.

 

 _“Johnny fucking Seo.”_ A loud voice scolds. _“When I get my hands on you I’m going to burn you alive.”_

 

“Good to talk to you too, Yuta,” Johnny smiles, “I should just let you know I’m fine. I’m with someone.”

 

_“Well, who are you with?”_

 

“Taeyong.” Johnny replies, he looks at the petals on this ground, and notices how his breath can be seen ever so slightly in the crisp midnight air. The wind is blowing slightly into Johnny’s sleeves, giving him goosebumps.

 

 _“Ooo, lala,”_ Yuta replies fancily, _“Have you kissed yet?”_

 

“No! I’m not going to rush this, we’re just getting close, and besides - I don’t think Taeyong likes me like that,” Johnny sighs, “He’s just a really friendly person.”

 

 _“He said so himself he’s only funny around people he likes, obviously you have a chance.”_ Yuta reminds, _“Also, Doyoung messaged me earlier, he said Taeyong stayed later in the library than he needed to because he was worried about you.”_

 

“Oh...Yeah, I kinda fell asleep for like, three hours,” Johnny laughs.

 

 _“Dude, Taeyong said you worked for like almost ten hours straight,”_ Yuta hums, _“You know you shouldn’t overwork yourself, especially when exams are just around the corner.”_

 

“I’ll be fine, don’t worry about it, after these final projects I’ll be set and be able to focus on studying,” Johnny picks at his t-shirt, and sighs once more, “I promise.”

 

 _“Anyways. Taeyong is a real cutie, I hope things go well for you, bro.”_ Yuta says sincerely, _“Also, let’s get this bread, I asked Sicheng to the movies and he said yes.”_

 

“I agree, Taeyong is very cute, and congrats man.” Johnny almost says more, but the door of the restaurant is opened and a sweet voice arises from the silence.

 

“Hey, Johnny. Food’s here.” Taeyong says.

 

Johnny turns to look at him. The boy’s face is bright red and his brown hair is falling into his eyes.

 

“Oh, right.” Johnny perks up, “Talk to you later, Yuta.”

 

Yuta bids goodbye, then Johnny walks towards Taeyong, who holds the door open for him and they both go inside. As soon as they’re back at the table, Taeyong clears his throat.

 

“Um, I didn’t know what you wanted to drink so I just got you a water.” Taeyong says shyly, picking at his nails. Johnny smiles at him fondly.

 

“It’s what I would’ve gotten anyways.” Johnny reassures, and Taeyong slightly straightens up.

 

“That’s good.” Taeyong nods.

 

The night goes on swiftly, and soon Johnny finds himself in front of his apartment, with Taeyong sitting on his bike.

 

“Hey Taeyong,” Johnny calls, and Taeyong cocks his head to the side, looking into Johnny’s eyes softly.

 

“Yes, Johnny?”

 

Johnny sucks in a deep breath and he looks down, contemplating what he’s about to say.

 

“Would you like a kiss?”

 

Taeyong almost falls off his bike, as it catches him off guard, but manages to steady himself before he can. His eyes are to the ground and he perchs his bike up by its stand and looks at Johnny.

 

“Wh-What?” Taeyong says it breathlessly, his hands are shaky and his heart is beating really fast, but Johnny doesn’t need to know that.

 

“Would you like,” Johnny reaches into his pocket and then slowly reveals the delicately wrapped chocolate kiss, and Taeyong’s face quite literally fades of all color and he swallows thickly, “A kiss?”

 

Taeyong quickly composes himself and clears his throat, “Oh, of course.” he laughs awkwardly, and Johnny squints cutely.

 

“You’re adorable sometimes,” Johnny says, and then Taeyong blushes once more, “and easily flustered.”

 

“Y-Yeah.” Taeyong scowls, “that’s definitely one of the things I struggle with.”

 

❥

 

Three days later, Taeyong and Johnny’s shared class comes along. Johnny thinks about asking him the same dumb question this time, but maybe hold the kiss out first so he doesn’t get confused again. Though, Johnny admits he died a little when Taeyong got so blushy about a simple question.

 

_Would you like a kiss?_

 

Taeyong is the first one in the classroom, Johnny a close second - and to be fair he doesn’t even think Taeyong notices him, as he has his head down in a book and his brown hair is covering his eyes. Johnny doesn’t mind, because he’ll talk to him anyways.

 

He is about to walk to Taeyong’s seat, but the bell rings and the last of the students brush past him, quickly filling the seats and becoming silent moments later. Johnny takes his place in the seat behind Taeyong. He rips a small paper from his notebook and writes something out.

 

_‘A kiss, for you.’_

__\- Johnny_ _♡_ _

 

 

He slides the little paper sticking out at the top through the hole, and then reaches out a bit and sets it in front of him. Taeyong takes his earbuds out and looks behind him, a soft smile on his face as he realizes it’s just Johnny. The boy picks up the chocolate and caramel kisses, and reads the note, his face flushing as he folds the paper and gently places it in his phone case for safekeeping.

 

God, Johnny is so in love with him.

 

A short period of time later, class is finally over and Johnny has a chance to actually talk to Taeyong, who is barely paying attention and sketching in his notebook. His earbuds in and he’s probably incapable of hearing the bell ring.

 

Johnny taps on his shoulder, “Tae,” he coos, “the bell has rung.”

 

Taeyong looks up, surprised, and rips his earbuds from his ears. His is face burning a shade of red, probably more red than his t-shirt.

 

“Thank you, Johnny,” Taeyong bows slightly, beginning to gather his things and standing up.

 

Maybe Johnny is completely smitten over Taeyong, maybe it’s just how adorable he looks when he’s focused, or maybe it’s how much dedication and overall intelligence that’s held inside of him. He longs to touch his lips to his, he longs to fit their hands together and go on dates with him.

 

He doesn’t know if Taeyong would ever like him like that, and sometimes he thinks he can accept it. He can’t make someone fall in love with him.

 

So when Taeyong turns around, kisses his cheek, and whispers, _“Caramel and chocolate are my favorite.”_ Johnny quite literally almost passes out, but he gains consciousness to smile back and say, “Oh really?” _Real smooth, Seo._

 

“Yes,” Taeyong responds. He pops the kiss in his mouth and swings his bag over his shoulder, “See you soon.”

 

Johnny nearly loses his mind. _See you soon._

 

_See you soon._

 

He picks up his bag moments later and accepts the fact that he’ll be late to his meeting with Doyoung and Yuta. Sucks to be them.

 

❥

 

Taeyong has never felt so in love before. He’s sure his heart is going to fall out of his chest and explode.

 

“Taeil, if I die, Guppy gets fed three times a day, and he gets let outside once in the morning, afternoon, and night,” Taeyong says, collapsing onto the sofa, and pulling a pillow over his face. Taeil just sighs.

 

“You’re being overdramatic again,” he says, not looking up from his book, “just tell Johnny you like him.”

 

“I can’t do that,” Taeyong whines, “It’s too hard!”

 

“You useless gay,” the other boy laughs, “you have to have everything done for you.” Taeyong looks to the left of him and throws a pillow at Taeil’s head, making the older’s book fall to the floor.

 

“I’m just nervous, okay?” Taeyong sighs. “What if he totally doesn’t like me, and just is playing with my feelings-”

 

“I’m going to stop you right there. Johnny is a very well-mannered guy, he’s always thinking of others before he even thinks about himself,” Taeil replies, picking up his book and setting it on the side table. “Besides, Johnny knows your favorite candy, even,  it’s like he wants to get closer to you.” Taeil makes a mental note, however, to talk to Johnny about this before anything happens between the two.

 

Taeyong thinks back to the note that Johnny had included with the two candy kisses he had given him earlier that day the neat handwriting in ink pen. Then after class he had caught his attention to tell him that class was in fact over and Taeyong remembers kissing the older boy’s cheek and bidding him a shy   _‘see you later.’_

 

He hopes that Johnny would like to see him later and that his gift of the kisses are more than just a friendly approach. His phone interrupts his train of thought and Taeil ruffles his hair before leaving the room and going into the kitchen.

 

_Incoming Call: Doyoung_

 

He picks up fairly quickly and allows the younger to speak first.

 

 _“Taeyong hyung, would you like to come to Lu Min’s for lunch?”_ He asks. Taeyong temporarily take his phone away from his ear and checks how much time he has before his next class.

 

“Sure, right now?” Taeyong questions, sliding his shoes on and going to his room to grab a jacket.

 

 _“Yes, right now, idiot,”_ Doyoung scolds, and there’s a few voices in the background, _“don’t be late.”_

 

“Right...right, who’s with you?” Taeyong is leaving out the door by now, saying goodbye to Taeil and heading down the stairs.

 

 _“Ah, Yuta and Johnny,”_ Doyung hums, and now Taeyong sees why he was so suddenly invited. There’s a catch and the catch is Johnny Seo, the science major. Though Taeyong wants them to major in chemistry, if you get what he means.

 

“You fooled me,” Taeyong whines, “now I’m nervous.” That definitely isn’t a lie, Taeyong is sitting on his bike and practically sweating in the negative two degrees celsius weather, making him feel weird inside.

 

“ _You’re already on your way, so there’s no turning back now_ ,” Doyoung teases gently, _“Just get here fast, we’re ordering soon.”_

 

The ride was definitely thrilling, as Taeyong fell twice being nervous from thinking about Johnny and the fact that he had no prior notice to this. He looks and feels like crap because he’s tired and it took him falling the first time to finally notice he was still in his sleep t-shirt and shorts, wearing converse that were a size too big.

 

He looks like a mess and his in-between naps before class quickly become his biggest regret, as he had made the mistake of leaving home in his sleep attire.

 

He’s so off guard that it takes a car suddenly swerving around him and flying by, probably missing him by a few inches. Taeyong decides it’d be better to just walk the remaining five minutes left and he can now feel the cold tingle his bare legs.

 

It’s moments like this that Taeyong wishes he grew hair on his legs, being particularly hairless besides the light hair on his arms and on his head was admired by a lot of people, but in moments where he’s walking in weather too cold to be real, he pouts, thinking he’s the most unlucky person on the earth for that single second.

 

He makes it to the restaurant in ten minutes (only because there was a puppy and he couldn’t help but give him a few pets and all the love he could at the moment). When he gets there, Doyoung looks at him and laughs to himself, and Taeyong squints. He bows to the hostess, then walks to the table and greets everyone. _Sitting next to Johnny Seo._

 

Sitting next to Johnny Seo in shorts and a bedtime shirt wasn’t an ideal thing that any normal person would enjoy. Taeyong definitely doesn’t enjoy it.

 

“Nice outfit?” Doyoung tries, in the corner of his eye he can see Yuta laughing and Taeyong scowls, snapping his head to the boy and he stops.

 

The waitress comes around and takes their order and then they’re left in an awkward silence that lasts for longer than ten minutes.

 

“So, exams are coming up,” Johnny says, “I’m kinda nervous.”

 

“Yeah me too, but only really for Sociology,” Yuta replies, “What about you Taeyong, what’s your major?”

 

“I’m a Fine Arts Major, I want to be a dance instructor and artist,” Taeyong replies, “so my other classes such as English I’m okay with, but with dance, our final is creating our own choreography and presenting it. The score is based on originality, creativity, and we have to include certain moves in it.”

 

“What kind?” Johnny asks, sipping his water and looking curiously at him.

 

“Well, they’re more like genres. We have to include different styles, like ballet and jazz,” Taeyong trails off and sighs outwardly.

 

“Well, those are the two that I chose, and those are probably the hardest to do considering the style differences. In a way though, all dances can be revolved around ballet, as it’s the backbone. I can probably fit an attitude and a penche in there. Maybe a developpe?” Taeyong trails off and rubs his head, “I’ve been working on it for a bit, and I’ve got the music and stuff figured out and part of the dance done,” Taeyong realizes how much he’s talked and snaps his mouth shut, “sorry for boring you, I tend to ramble.”

 

“Oh no, it’s quite alright. I’d like to see you dance sometime,” Johnny realizes just how odd that sounds and shakes his head, “ah, crap. I mean I do, but I didn’t mean to make it sound so weird. What song are you doing?”

 

Taeyong blushes, but quietly responds, “Born to Die, you know, the one by Lana Del Rey?”

 

“Ah! I love that song!” Yuta chimes in, “Lana is so good!”

 

“Yeah, she is,” Taeyong replies shyly, “she’s one of my favorite singers.”

 

“I think her song Cherry is good too,” Doyoung adds. The others nod in agreement and the food arrives moments later. They all begin to enjoy their food and Johnny swallows a bite of his food before looking back at Taeyong.

 

“So, why are you in shorts and a t-shirt?”

 

“Ah. I was on the phone with Doyoung and it totally blew over my head to change my outfit, because since I don’t usually sleep during the night. I just take naps between my classes and if I don’t have classes I sleep during the day.” Taeyong responds. “I didn’t just wake up when Doyoung called, in fact I was actually getting ready to go to sleep, but seeing my friends is more important.”

 

“You don’t sleep during the night?” Johnny questions, and Taeyong shrugs.

 

“I have a night job and actually my schedule works really well for me. It’s probably the most efficient one I’ve had in awhile,” he explains, “and if I don’t have work, I sleep during the night, it works out.”

 

“Oh, I see.”

 

“Taeyong is really good with time management, he could probably create an entire schedule for you if you ever find yourself being unorganized with your schedule. He made mine,” Doyoung grins, “it’s color coded and everything.”

 

“Doyoung.” Taeyong whines. “Stop.”

 

“Stop getting so flustered TY, it’s a compliment!” Doyoung coos and reaches across the table to pinch at Taeyong’s cheeks, but the other boy swats his hand away and grimaces.

 

“Oh, cut it out, Doyoung,” Taeyong points accusingly, “you’re the same as me!”

 

“Now, now guys, let’s not fight here,” Yuta chimes in, “and that’s cute!”

 

Taeyong smiles softly and nods at Yuta. He looks fairly proud of himself for stealing the compliment that his best friend definitely wanted to say, but Johnny looks unfazed so his pride fades quickly.

 

“It is cute,” Johnny smiles, “really cute.”

 

Yuta and Doyoung cast their gaze to Taeyong, who is so red that you’d think he’d combust right there. They definitely liked each other, but they both were way too stubborn to admit anything to each other. Their lunch was fairly silent, besides a few side conversations about school or their plans after college.

 

When it’s finally time to go, Taeyong thanks the three for inviting him and puts his jacket on to head for the door.

 

“Tae, you shouldn’t walk home like that,” Johnny said, coming up behind him, but Taeyong waves it off.

 

“I’ll be okay, I’ll be back at my place in like 15 minutes, and the temperature isn’t cold enough to do anything,” Taeyong excuses, “I’ll be okay, Johnny.”

 

“At least let me walk you home?” Taeyong hesitates for a second before nodding. Johnny’s face perks up and he waves goodbye to Doyoung and Yuta. He follows Taeyong to his bike. Johnny can already see him shivering from the cold, so he does what any gentleman should.

 

“Hey, Taeyong. Let me give you a ride back to your dorm, you’re too cold,” Johnny takes the handles from Taeyong’s shivering hands. The younger boy tries to make a protest but Johnny intervenes, “No, no, no. You get on back and hold on, okay?”

 

Taeyong finally obliges and gets on the back, wrapping his arms around Johnny’s torso and laying his head on his back. He rests his eyes and gives Johnny the location of his apartment and allows him to take the lead.

 

Though it’s only around 3:45 pm, Taeyong feels tired. He didn’t get his nap in, so of course that would throw him out of of his loop. Taeyong doesn’t remember falling asleep and he doesn’t remember how he got in his bed either.

 

It’s about 8:30 pm when he wakes up with a growing headache. It doesn’t help when he realizes that he’s missed class. He tilts his head to the side and looks on his bedside table for his phone and sees a little folded paper and a kiss sitting there. Taeyong smiles slightly.

 

_You fell asleep on me. I brought_

_you up. Here’s a ‘kiss’ goodnight._

_\- Johnny._

 

Taeyong turns to mush under his words.

 

The silence in the room somehow only makes his headache four times worse and it quickly becomes unbearable. He throws his legs over the side of the bed and makes his way towards the bathroom just outside his door.

 

The light in Taeil’s room is still on, so Taeyong assumes that he’s still awake. The older boy is either listening to music or watching Buzzfeed Unsolved.

 

He steps into the bathroom and doesn’t bother with the lights, as he knows that they’ll just trigger a painful reaction. But of course, as soon as his sock covered feet touch the tile, a wave of nausea builds up and he rushes to the toilet to let it all out.

 

He coughs in an attempt to free himself from the tingling, but nothing goes away. He vomits for what seems like the third time, and Taeil rushes into the bathroom and his heart aches slightly at the sight.

 

“Migraine?” Taeil says carefully, getting onto his knees to next to Taeyong, who is heaving with tears streaming down his face, “Did you take your medication today?”

 

Taeyong shakes his head no, because he forgot to. In fact the last time he took it was two mornings ago and Taeyong now knows why this one had hit him so hard.

 

Taeil nods in understanding and opens the medicine cabinet, pouring one pill into his hand. He then takes one of the cups used for mouth wash and fills it with water for Taeyong to drink. The older knows Taeyong is probably too focused on his headache, so to change to mood he takes a step back.

 

“Do you work tonight?” Taeil asks, and Taeyong nods.

 

“Yeah, eleven to five.”

 

“Alright, well why don’t you sleep until you have to leave, alright?” Taeil says, “And call me when you leave, I’ll pick you up.”

 

“No, Taeil, I’m not waking you up at five in the morning,” Taeyong rolls his eyes, and stands up, “But I’m gonna go crash, I’m tired as fuck.”

 

❥

 

Johnny set down his coffee on the table and then his bag, sighing contently because their teacher hadn’t arrived yet. Kids are talking amongst themselves and some students aren’t even there yet. Johnny is kind of distracted, looking off into space and thinking of Taeyong. He didn’t even notice Lucas Wong, a sophomore at the college, come in with a party popper.

 

“Hey, all of you are invited to my party tonight, if you know where it is ask someone else! Everyone is invited!” Lucas cheers and then waves at Johnny with a smile. Johnny returns to reality and waves back at him, now noticing everyone talking about the party that he was holding.

 

“Are you going to go, Johnny?” A girl with blonde hair asks him. He scratches his head, trying to remember the girl’s name. “Johnny?”

 

“Huh? Oh, uh yeah I think so,” Johnny answers. “Hey, where’s the teacher?” he says, without giving the girl much of a chance to say anything.

 

“Oh, no idea,” she replies, “maybe running late.”

 

“I see,” Johnny grabs his bag and coffee, standing up and walking out of the classroom without another thought, and making his way to the Fine Arts building, where he knew Taeyong was dancing at the moment, and maybe he’d get to see his choreography and support him.

 

Was he feeling a little rebellious because he was technically skipping class? Yes, but maybe that’s because Johnny really wasn’t one to do it anyways, and if the teacher wasn’t in class he had no reason to be there.

 

The walk to the building wasn’t that long, but maybe that’s because Johnny walks fast and has long legs with long strides. He enters and asks a fairly short boy (to him at least) with blonde curly hair if he knows where the dance studio is, and the boy gladly says he doesn’t mind taking him, because he’s going there too.

 

“I’m Mark!” he says excitedly, “Are you thinking of joining the dancers?”

 

“Huh? No, I’m here for a friend,” Johnny replies, he nervously clasps his hands together and looks around the hallway.

 

“Are you watching someone?”

 

“Yeah.”

 

“Oh! How exciting, your girlfriend?” But then he looks at Johnny up and down and comes to some sort of conclusion, “Your boyfriend?”

 

“He is not my boyfriend,” Johnny blushes lightly.

 

“You like him though,” Mark hums, and then pulls open the door to the studio, waving at everyone who smiled or said hi to him and Johnny feels oddly out of place.

 

“So, which boy is it?” Mark questions, looking around at the others, but Johnny’s gaze is somewhere else and Mark carefully follows it to see it’s on Lee Taeyong, who is on the floor already and practicing an arabesque.

 

“Oh. You like _Taeyong,”_ Mark smirks, “he’s cute, but I think he likes someone else.”

 

“Oh? Who?” Johnny suddenly feels like every organ in his body is exploding and he winces at it.

 

“Uh, some guy named Johnny,” Mark says, “he talks about him all the time, he said he’s gonna ask him to his dance final. Which is pretty cool!”

 

Johnny’s face goes completely red and he covers his face with his hands. He stifles an awkward laugh, which definitely confuses Mark.

 

“What?”

 

“Uh, I’m Johnny.”

 

Mark’s eyes widen and he covers his mouth, then points at him. Johnny looks at him with adoring eyes.

 

“Oh.” Mark says, “Oh my god, don’t tell Taeyong that I’m the one who said he likes you! Hell, I don’t even know if he has a crush on you. I’m just assuming he does because you’re all he talks about and anytime a romance song plays he says he wants to dance to it with you-” Johnny places a hand over Mark’s mouth, as Taeyong is coming up behind him.

 

His forehead is coated with a thin layer of sweat, his face red from working out as he catches his breath.

 

“Johnny, hi!” Taeyong grins, “Don’t you have class?”

 

“Ah, yeah, but my teacher wasn’t there so I decided to come see you dance,” Johnny says softly, “you looked great.”

 

Tayong giggles, “I haven’t even danced yet, though!”

 

“Warm-ups are attractive,” Johnny replies, making the shorter boy blush.

 

“Oh. I mean, thank you,”

 

“Not a problem,” Johnny says, “when do you dance?”

 

Taeyong pulls out his phone and looks at the time, thinking for a second.

 

“About fifteen minutes,” Taeyond responds, “Mark, you should start your warm-ups, Mr. Kim will get upset with you again.” Mark salutes and says goodbye to the both of them, then disappears into the locker room.

 

“I’m glad you’re here,” Taeyong smiles, “I was hoping you’d be able to see me dance.”

 

Johnny knows that this dance is really important to Taeyong. If they do well on the final, like getting above an A, then they’ll be able to go to State and perform the dance in front of many people.

 

He thinks Doyoung mentioned something about Taeyong trying very hard to get into this competition and that it has been his dream since even before college began. That’s how Johnny first heard of Taeyong, through Doyoung talking about how Taeyong was pushing himself a little too hard in his first year.

 

He remembers being in the car with Doyoung, around one in the morning. He was blabbering about his friend that stays too late in the studio and how he was going to exhaust himself. When he pulled up to the studio, a tiny boy was waiting for them outside, scrolling through his phone.

 

When he saw Doyoung he smiled and waved, not noticing Johnny until he got into the car. To say Johnny was starstruck when he saw Taeyong up close is an understatement. His perfect features plus his honey-like voice made him almost melt in his seat, but Doyoung had reached his hand into the back and whacked him.

 

“Yeah, I’m happy to see you dance,” Johnny smiles back, “I think I told you I wanted to watch you dance yesterday.”

 

“Do you wanna get something to eat afterwards?”

 

“Sure, it’ll be on me,” Johnny nods, “We can go to Blossom Bay.”

 

Taeyong lights up at that, knowing that it’ll still be afternoon when they go, and they will be able to go to the park behind them and relax. All alone, together, side by side. He’s definitely blushing, but it’s probably hard to notice from how red his face is after dancing. Johnny is looking down at him, perhaps expecting him to say something in response.

 

“I should get back to dancing,” Taeyong says, Johnny waves goodbye and goodluck to him, then finds a seat on the benches to get a good view of the dancers. Each person goes through their choreography and they’re all beautiful. But then Taeyong’s dance starts.

 

Johnny can hear the music play, and he sees Taeyong slowly back his way onto the floor. Delicately, but there’s also some sort of intensity is in his moves as he gracefully moves into the dance.

 

It’s captivating to watch and he’s never seen Taeyong so focused and serious. His movements are swift and fluid, his leaps and twirls seemingly effortless.

 

The dance is over a few minutes later and Johnny claps his hands as Taeyong gives a short bow. He gives Taeyong a thumbs up when he looks over exhaustedly, wiping sweat from his forehead.

 

A text pops up on his phone, noticing a flurry of texts from his mom.

 

 _(6)_ **_[Mom]_ **

 

_John, your father called again_

 

_He requested a dinner with you to catch up_

 

_You don’t have to, honey_

 

_I know how hard it was for you_

 

_But give it some thought okay?_

 

_John?_

 

**_[To: Mom]_ **

 

_I don’t want to have dinner with him._

 

He powers his phone off and presses his face into his palms, sighing. His father didn’t deserve a single second of his time, leaving them before he was even five. Even when he was present in his life, he was a terrible father.

 

After he was gone, he didn’t say a word to Johnny or his mom for fifteen years of his life, then he randomly appeared and said that he was his father and he wanted to rebuild a bond that never existed.

 

Of course, Johnny shut it down immediately and stayed away from his father for three years. But it seems as if his father wasn’t giving up, so when his mom insisted he talked to him, the only words that came out of his mouth were ‘fuck you’.

 

His mom was trying, and it must’ve been hard to deal with.

 

“Johnny,” a gentle voice says, “Johnny?”

 

Johnny whips his head up and locks his eyes with Taeyong’s wide ones. He’s smiling at him and holding a water bottle.

 

“Oh, sorry” Johnny hums, “I was thinking about something.”

 

Taeyong sits down next to him and rests his head on his palm.

 

“About what?” Johnny stays quiet and doesn’t get a chance to brush it off before Taeyong is speaking once more, “You don’t have to talk about it, no worries.”

 

Johnny smiles and then looks at Taeyong, who is in changed attire, smelling a little bit like mangos or something fruity like that. He must’ve just changed and taken a shower, he thinks. Taeyong sits for a little bit and then speaks up once more.

 

“I don’t think I’ve got your number,” Taeyong laughs, “even after we’ve been friends for a while now.”

 

“Oh, my apologies then,” Johnny says, “here, give me your phone and I’ll put my number in. Then we can go out for lunch, remember?”

 

“Oh yeah!” Taeyong gasps, handing his phone over. Johnny puts his number into Taeyong’s phone and thanks him.

 

They stand up and are on their way out the door when they just so happened to run into Doyoung, who is on his way inside. He looks curiously at Johnny.

 

“Didn’t you have Statistics?” Doyoung questions, “and hi, Taeyong.”

 

Taeyong waves, and Johnny shrugs. “My teacher wasn’t there so I dipped to watch Taeyong’s practice.” Doyoung hums in acknowledgment.

 

“I see,” he replies, “where are you guys heading?”

 

“Lunch,” they reply in usion and then both blush.

 

If Doyoung wasn’t a reliable friend, he would’ve just told them to date already and get it over with. He’s a good friend instead, because he knows they’re only taking it a little by little to not rush into anything.

 

He thinks it’s sweet of them to unknowingly acknowledge that they like each other and not realize that they are in fact hopelessly in love with the other.

 

“That’s nice,” Doyoung checks the time, “I have to go, see you two later.”

 

Their walk is silent and it’s another cliche scene of Johnny riding on the back of Taeyong’s bike, arms tight around his waist and letting the breeze drift through their hair. It’s really cold and Johnny is wearing a hoodie with a fairly thick winter jacket over it.

 

Taeyong, however, is dressed only in a large sweater with a collared shirt beneath it. He wonders if he is cold or if he just doesn’t mind the cold at all, instead enjoying the fresh air.

 

Johnny always thought winter air was the freshest. It’s weird but there’s something about taking a breath of cold air that gives him a good feeling. He doesn’t notice when they pull up to the restaurant, at least not until Taeyong makes an accidental quick stop.

 

“Sorry! There was a cat,” Taeyong apologizes, “if we hurry we might be able to catch him!”

 

Taeyong hops off the bike after Johnny, rushing toward a puffy tan cat sitting on the fence that separates the restaurant from the park. Johnny laughs at how adorable he is.

 

“Tae, slow down, you might scare him if you go near him too quickly,” Johnny calls, “here, come back.”

 

Taeyong obeys, and wanders back next to Johnny’s side. He watches how carefully Johnny seems to be thinking.

 

“Okay, if we go slowly towards him, we won’t scare him. We have to let him know that we’re not going to hurt him,” Johnny says. “Come on.”

 

He begins his way carefully toward the rather large cat, perched sweetly on the fence and licking a paw. When the cat takes notice of Johnny, it freezes and locks eyes with him, but it makes no effort to move.

 

He’s able to move closer to the cat, so he holds his hand out and allows it to sniff his hand and rub against him to gain his trust. The cat meows softly, seemingly sinking into Johnny’s soft touch and Taeyong almost cries right then and there, because Johnny Seo is so fucking cute.

 

“Can I pick you up?” Johnny mumbles. The cat meows at his words and Johnny picks it up and sinks to his knees to hold it better, “Aw. You’re so cute.”

 

Taeyong gets on his knees and gently pats the cat’s head, giggling as it begins to purrs.

 

“Oh, I love cats so much!” Taeyong looks to the cat, “Where are your owners?” Johnny looks up from the cat to look at the distraught boy next to him, and almost laughs.

 

“You kinda look like a cat, Taeyong.” Johnny says sweetly, “You’re cute.”

 

Johnny absentmindedly reaches an arm out and runs a hand through Taeyong’s hair, massaging it and then bringing it down underneath his chin, rubbing a thumb along his cheekbone. Taeyong goes red and refrains from sinking into the touch of the older.

 

The touch is soft and the moment is sincere. Johnny seems to notice his action and pulls his arm away, blushing bright. They sit in a comfortable silence. Johnny eyes Taeyong, who is looking back.

 

Johnny wants to kiss him, so fucking badly.

 

Holy _shit._

 

There is no better moment to kiss the boy he’s liked for so long than right now and the thought processes in his mind for a while. He doesn’t want to scare Taeyong though. Even though Mark basically exposed the youngers crush on him accidentally, he still fears this could be a misunderstanding.

 

He almost does it.

 

Almost.

 

A honk scares them from their thoughts and the cat hisses and jumps out of Johnny’s arms, disappearing into the long grass. Johnny sighs and turns his head back to see who interrupted them.

 

Taeyong waves and then gets up to run to the car. The window rolls down to reveal Doyoung, with Jaehyun in the passenger seat.

 

“Hope we didn’t intrude anything,” Jaehyun giggles, “Doyoung finished early and he said he thought you’d be here, so here we are.”

 

“Oh, no, you didn’t intrude on anything, we were just playing with a cat,” Johnny laughs and slightly blushes knowing that wasn’t the full truth.

 

“Really? You guys were looking into each other’s eyes for a really long time.”

 

Taeyong blushes intensely and crosses his arms behind his back, eyes to the ground.

 

“It wasn’t that long…”

 

“It was like ten minutes,” Doyoung teases, “I thought the world had paused for a second.”

 

“Are you just going to tease us?” Johnny hums. “Or will you be joining us for lunch?”

 

“I have a class at four, so I can’t stay that long,” Jaehyun says, “and Doyoung is my ride.”

 

“Oh, well it would still be fun, no matter how long you stay,” Taeyong replies, “come on, before you have to go.”

 

The two boys get out of the car and then they all make their way towards the restaurant, chatting amongst themselves about silly things. Doyoung teases them still about what he saw earlier and to Taeyong’s dismay, it results in him turning red.

 

They all order and then decide to go to the picnic area in the meadow.

 

It is even more beautiful up close, though the pretty scenery is now beginning to disappear for the long winter. It was always amazing to watch the scenery slowly fade away, because after one flower dies, more will always come along in the spring.

 

The wintery park is always gorgeous, especially when the cherry blossom trees and the flowery meadows are nothing but shapes made of snow. It’s easy to just enjoy everything about it and maybe have a snowball fight, or even go sledding. It’s always a great place to appreciate.

 

Sitting here with his friends makes Johnny realize he wouldn’t have it any other way. He’s forever grateful for the memories they have and are creating every day, and how every moment is meant to last in his heart.

 

So that might be why a sudden burst of courage flares through him as he gently puts a hand beneath the table and places it over Taeyong’s smaller one, lacing their fingers together.

Taeyong lets him do it, becoming incredibly blushy and shy.

 

They look at each other with an amount of fondness and sincerity that tells Johnny that Taeyong likes him back. Though he can’t confirm it just yet, this may be a new beginning as breathtaking as the flowers that will bloom here in the spring.

 

Johnny notes that Taeyong has the softest hands he’s ever held in his life and he wants to hold his hand forever.

 

Doyoung and Jaehyun eye them and almost laugh at how ridiculous they look. It’s also becoming incredibly awkward, so Doyoung speaks up.

 

“So, are you guys going to Lucas’s party tonight?”

 

“Oh, I don’t know. Parties aren’t really my thing,” Johnny replies, “I might though, just to let loose before exams.”

 

“Yeah, I might.” Taeyong hums, “just as long as I’m with someone.”

 

“I’ll go with you,” Johnny responds, “I mean. If you want me to.”

 

Taeyong nods, his soft hair bouncing forward and falling into his face. Johnny watches how Taeyong just brushes it back with his fingers gently, with a soft smile on his face. Then he notices the redness of his cheeks, having been oblivious to it beforehand, and feels a little heat on his cheeks as well.

 

So yes, Mark had been telling the truth. He had actually not known that he was Johnny and had wholeheartedly felt scared that he might have just exposed his friend to his crush. Maybe Johnny felt a little too happy that it was confirmed that the feelings were mutual. Though, on a side note, anyone that wasn’t him or Taeyong could feel the tension and love they had for each other.

 

There is a particular feeling sitting at the bottom of Johnny’s stomach, something like love. Love is the only way he can describe the way he feels for Taeyong, but it’s too inappropriate to just kiss him right now. Someday, sometime, someway, and somehow there will be a moment between them where Johnny will say fuck it and kiss him.

 

It could be years, weeks, hours, seconds. All Johnny can say is that there is a time when it’ll be their moment, their time to finally break the ice and seal their love in a kiss. He knows it will be filled with the tenderness that fills their souls and soft confessions, that will only be heard between the two of them.

 

Johnny wants it all and he feels selfish for thinking so far ahead, but he can’t help it. He can’t not think of it. Because he wants Taeyong more than anything in the world.

 

He wants to watch him dance, write, draw, sing, do whatever it is that makes him happy and be there by his side to support him in his goals. He wants to be the first thing Taeyong sees in the morning, he wants to wake up next to him, he wants to hold his hands, and just kiss him whenever because hell, Taeyong would be his.

 

Johnny is lost in thought for so long that he fails to realize that a finger poking his cheek, and he looks to his left.

 

“What were you thinking about?” Taeyong turns his head to the side as if he’s a confused puppy and Johnny coos.

 

“Something really important to me,” Johnny replies. It’s not a lie, Taeyong is really important to him.

 

“Oh, interesting,” Taeyong smiles, “your foods getting cold, you should eat it.”

 

Doyoung and Jaehyun look at him with questioning eyes. They _know_ Johnny got distracted thinking of Taeyong.

 

They eat their food relatively fast and Doyoung and Jaehyun are soon bidding their goodbyes, walking away hand in hand. Taeyong giggles at the sight.

 

“I think they’re dating~” Taeyong sings, “and they’re sooo cute!”

 

Taeyong intensely shivers, as if there was a sudden change in temperature. He looks Johnny with eyes just as confused as his and barely gets to open his mouth before Johnny is speaking.

 

“Are you okay?” Johnny questions. “That was a big shiver.”

 

“Yeah, it’s just a little cold outside, I’ll be okay. I want to walk around the park with you first,” Taeyong brushes off and then gets off the bench to pull Johnny’s arm.

 

He whines slightly and he would have made Johnny fall to the ground if it wasn’t for Johnny’s quick reaction skills, putting an arm down before anything could happen. Taeyong flushes with color and stumbles an apology out.

 

“I underestimated my own strength, I think,” he says dumbly, “I always do that.”

 

“No, it’s okay, don’t worry about it.” Johnny laughs, “I didn’t mind.”

 

❥

 

Taeyong is sick. He knows he’s sick, too, and he knows that a migraine will punch him at any moment. But, the party Lucas is throwing is tonight and he absolutely refuses to miss it. Even after Taeil told him that he would only get more sick if he went, Taeyong, the stubborn ass, refuses to miss a whole night with Johnny.

 

Taeil warns him that if he even feels a little bit of a headache to come home _immediately,_ and says if he even touches a glass of alcohol and he finds out, he’ll be on his hit list. _Okay,_ maybe Taeil didn’t say that last part, but Taeyong knows that he isn’t someone to mess around with, especially when he got mad.

 

Taeyong crosses his heart with a promise that he’ll be safe and reassures him he’s not that sick, even if he’s on the verge of a fever and perhaps a migraine. Taeil sighs, thinking of the things Taeyong does just to be with Johnny.

 

Taeyong doesn’t know what empowers him to think he has more strength when he’s sick, but somehow he manages to brush off the growing migraine in his skull. It’s odd that Taeyong isn’t used to them by now, but he just never adjusted. He’s been getting them since he was a young kid and they got so bad to the point where he sometimes couldn’t move.

 

The fact he’s sick increases the risk of the pressing headaches. He remembers his worst one, when he had just turned seven and come down with pneumonia. His headache had gotten so bad that he couldn’t eat or sleep. That’s when he parents knew that it wasn’t just a normal headache and he thankfully started his migraine medication, and he’s been on it ever since. Sometimes, he really does think it’s stopped working.

 

But Taeyong ignores the signs and goes to a party where music will be pounding in his head, where there will be alcohol that will just worsen the pain. He knows he shouldn’t ignore Taeil’s protests, but he just can’t help but be stubborn and refuse to be treated like a baby.

 

Johnny appears at his apartment doorstep at precisely seven pm. They get to the bottom floor in ten minutes, mostly because of Taeil’s nagging and quiet reminders that Taeyong needed to take care of himself. Taeyong doesn’t tell Johnny about the set of rules he’s been given though, because what’s the fun in that? He admits he feels bad for hiding it from the older, but Taeyong knows his limits.

 

When they get to the front door and make it to Taeyong’s bike, Johnny instantly requests to take them to Lucas’ building. Taeyong has no room to protest, so he allows Johnny to do as he please and they’re off to the party in no time at all.

 

When they arrive, Taeyong doesn’t know if these people are just overly confident or if just it’s the alcohol in their veins. He knows that more than half of these people here are probably here with no worries because their parents paid off their tuition already and most of them didn’t give a shit about the scholarship kids or the kids that are going to be in bad debt after college.

 

Taeyong doesn’t even know why he’s thinking of that, but he knows for sure that half these kids hate him because he got a scholarship as a dance major, and art minor. His dad was barely able to support them growing up, so this scholarship was a huge deal. He works his job and sends half his paycheck to his dad, just to support him even when he’s not there.

 

Johnny waves a hand in front of Taeyong’s face, just to get him back to reality. He smiles at Taeyong, who returns it. As their eyes meet, the song fades into a different one. _‘Daddy Issues’_ by The Neighbourhood. Johnny drags him through the crowd by the wrist, and Taeyong feels like his vision dropped into slow motion, and so much of the time disappears.

 

He finds him with some alcoholic beverage in his hands, elbows on the counter and leaning over it to talk to Jaehyun, who seems to notice Taeyong’s certainly not sober.

 

“Where’s Johnny?” Jaehyun questions, “I swear you were just with him.” the younger scans the party for any signs of the taller, knowing it’d be easy to find him because he’s literally a giant. Taeyong whines, and shrugs.

 

“I don’t know,” Taeyong groans, “Probably dancing.” he places a hand to his forehead to try and steady his vision, his migraine significantly increasing with movement and his drinking. Taeyong doesn’t handle alcohol well, and the alcohol running in his veins is definitely way to much. Jaehyun rushes to Taeyong’s side to steady him.

 

“Jeez Taeyong, you’re literally burning up,” Jaehyun gasps, “Are you sick?”

 

“Huh? No, no I’m not sick-” Taeyong stumbles, “It’s really hot in here, I want Johnny. Where’s Johnny?”

 

Jaehyun wraps an arm around Taeyong’s waist, and heads for the balcony, knowing that the cool air will help a little bit. He doesn’t even notice Doyoung appearing at his side until there’s a hand on his shoulder. The boy sighs in relief and hands the boy over into his arms.

 

“Can you take him to the balcony?” Jaehyun asks, “I need to find Johnny and get this kid a water.”

 

Doyoung salutes jokingly and helps Taeyong walk through the crowd of people. Jaehyun watches as the disappear, then turns on his heel and heads for the other side of the dorm. If he doesn’t find Johnny here, he may be back in the other crowd. In which, he hopes he’s not, because there is way too many people over there and if Jaehyun was to step on foot in there he’d pass out. He’s fairly tall, so he has the advantage of looking over most people, and he spots Johnny immediately. He’s in the corner supposedly trying to call someone. He swerves through everyone and apologizes, even though they’re too drunk to even notice him.

 

As if it was some work out, Jaehyun finally trips in front of Johnny and grabs his shoulder.

 

“Hey, where the hell were you?” Johnny hangs his phone up and looks down at at him with worried eyes.

 

“Have you seen Taeyong?”

 

“Yeah, actually, that’s why I came to find you,”

 

“Why isn’t he answering his phone? He left to use the bathroom and hasn’t come back yet,” Johnny pockets his phone and looks around the party, “Where is he?”

 

“He’s drunk, and now he’s outside with Doyoung because he was burning up,” Jaehyun replies, “Next time, call me.” Johnny nods and follows Jaehyun through the crowd of people. After a bit they finally made it to the balcony, and Jaehyun swung the door open and walked outside. Taeyong was laying down with his head on Doyoungs lap.

 

“Is he okay?” Johnny questions and sinks to his knees to feel his forehead, “He is burning up, i’ll take him home. You guys bring home his bike okay? I’m just gonna carry him.”

 

“Alright, but will you be okay alone?” Doyoung questions, “We can go with you.”

 

“No it’s alright,” Johnny waves, “Does he have work tonight?”

 

Jaehyun and Doyoung shrug, and Johnny sighs, “Okay, I’ll talk to his roommate then,”

 

They both nod, and then Johnny helps Taeyong out the front door of the dorm.

 

“Taeyong, get on my back,” Johnny says, “It’ll be easier.”

 

“I can walk,” Taeyong grumbles, but trips over his foot immediately, “Nevermind.” Johnny frowns and places a hand on Taeyong’s head, steadying him.

 

“Come on,” Johnny mumbles. It takes a little while for the younger to oblige, but eventually Johnny is able to get him to hop on his back and wrap his legs around him. Taeyong is very clingy, his arms around Johnny securely, and his legs a little tight around the waist, but nonetheless it’s quite clumsy in a way. The walk takes slightly longer than Johnny would hope, as Taeyong is a little distracted by the smallest things.

 

He’s lucky he memorized Taeyong’s address because he doesn’t think he’d be able to reach his phone if he tried.

 

Johnny has time to think during his walk. What will his roommate say? Will he be upset? Johnny makes his way into the building, then presses the button on the elevator to take them up to floor nine. Room 349, on the left. Sign on the door that has been up since last christmas, saying ‘Merry Christmas! From Taeyong and Taeil~~’ and underneath it in sloppy handwriting ‘You dickwads, it’s been five months take this sign down’. Johnny trails absentmindedly to the door, and then knocks slightly hard - they’ve been gone for two hours and his roommate may be asleep. There is an answer almost immediately, and a boy that may be even shorter than Taeyong himself swings the door open with expecting eyes, and nods when he sees Taeyong on his back. This must be Taeil, because he knows who Ten is. [Perhaps] Taeil sighs slightly annoyed and motions for them to come in.

 

“He drank didn’t he?” Taeil hums, “Did he tell you about the rules he was supposed to?”

 

Johnny’s silence answers his question, and he rubs his face, “This kid is so damn stubborn.”

 

“What were his rules?” Johnny asks, following Taeil who is probably taking him to Taeyong’s room, and he hums slightly.

 

“No drinking, calling me if there is even a sign of a slight headache, have someone keep an eye on him just incase he’s sick,” Taeil points accusingly at the sleeping boy on Johnny’s back, “I love him, but god he can be so… tough.” Johnny decides he won’t tell Taeil that Taeyong disappeared from him for a good half of the party. He sets Taeyong on the bed, and pulls back the covers so Taeil can take his shoes off and get his feet beneath them. After Taeyong is situated asleep, Taeil whips around and smiles at him.

 

“We should get to know each other,” he grins, holding a hand out to which Johnny takes, “I’m Moon Taeil, I’m twenty four years old and a Social Engineering major.”

 

“I’m Johnny, I’m 23 and a Science Major,” Taeil furrows his eyebrows, “More specifically Aerospace Engineering.”

 

“Holy shit, so you’re like incredibly smart, huh?” Taeil comments with a smile.

 

“I guess so, what do you minor in?”

 

“Just a simple business minor.” Taeil shrugs, “You?”

 

“Chemical Engineering,” Johnny replies.

 

“Wow, you _are_ smart.” Taeil laughs, “Interesting, what made you get into it?”

 

“Well...this may sound a little dumb, but when I was about three years old, my dad when he was… still here at least, whenever he killed a bug and when I cried he said he’d become a star in the sky,” Johnny hummed, “I later found that wasn’t true after intense research about stars and how they’re formed.”

 

“Mind if I ask what your intentions with Taeyong are?” Taeil randomly drops, and Johnny feels his body kinda joly, because there was a feeling of intensity behind his words and it made him shift.

 

“Elaborate?” Johnny questions, “Like are you asking if I like him?”

 

“Yeah, like what do _you_ want from him?” Taeil hums sourly, “You’re not just after him for sex are you?”

 

“What? God, what?” Johnny replies, flabbergasted that he came to that conclusion so quick, “No, no, I like Taeyong, I like _like_ him, like the ‘I want to kiss and hold his hand?’” Johnny tries, he is slightly offended that Taeil thought he wanted Taeyong just for sex, and it’s lingering in his mind more than it should.

 

“Oh, really?” Taeil says, “Do you see a future with him?”

 

“Oh, I hope so, I mean in my eyes I definitely do, but I don’t know what Taeyong wants.” Johnny trails off, “I’m sorry to pry, but why’d you jump to that conclusion?”

 

“It’s not prying, Johnny,” Taeil sighs, “It’s just, Taeyong is a very good kid, and he has a pure heart, you know? When he has a crush, which is almost rare, he really devotes himself to them, until he just ends up in the same routine of them only trying to get in his pants. Hell, the kid hasn’t even had his first kiss yet.”

 

“Oh, I didn’t know that,” Johnny responds, “I honestly do like Taeyong, if i’m honest I like everything about him. You know?” Johnny smiles, “He’s so talented and independent, and I admit very stubborn, but he’s still soft, sweet, and caring towards just everyone.”

 

“I see,” Taeil says, lacing his fingers together, “Well, Johnny, I’ll have you know that you have my trust. I like you, I think you’re a good person,” Johnny sighs in relief, but there’s an emptiness that hasn’t seemed like it was a finished sentence, “However-” there it is, “-if you so help me hurt that boy, _i will not give you mercy_ , that kids like a brother to me, so treat him well.” Taeil smirks, and then stands up to stretch.

 

“Well, off to bed I go, you can say goodnight to Taeyong, but he’s probably out cold,” Taeil laughs quietly, “See you later, I also called off Taeyong from work so leave him a note telling him not to worry.”

 

Johnny nods, and walks into Taeyong’s bedroom, and smiles.

 

 _“I like you a lot,”_ Johnny thinks, but doesn’t say. He fishes a kiss out of his pocket, and takes a sticky note from his desk and writes out a soft note.

 

_Feel better,_

_Here’s a kiss._

_Taeil called you off,_

_No worrying, lovebug._

_\- Johnny._

 

Then he sets the kiss on top of it and walks out, well not before he hears a soft calling of his name, that almost makes him turn to mush.

 

 _“Johnny,_ kiss me,” Taeyong says tiredly, but Johnny shakes his head.

 

“ _No, Tae. You’re drunk, you need to go to sleep,”_ Johnny replies quietly, and then shuts the boys bedroom door, and heads back out to the hallway, and locks to door for the two so they don’t have to worry. Then he sighs softly, mostly to himself for letting Taeyong drink alcohol, and kinda upset that Taeyong didn’t tell him about the rules.

 

He won’t stress too much about it, though.

 

❥

 

Fly forwards to a month ahead, Taeyong is sitting on the bleachers of the football field and stressing about his dance final that was in less than nine hours, and Johnny and Doyoung on either side of him rubbing his back.

 

“Taeyong, you’ll do fine,” Doyoung says softly, “You’ve been practicing for so long, and your dance is so beautiful.”

 

“Right, Taetae, your dance has been so beautiful to watch,” Johnny continues, “I know you’ll do amazing because you can literally do anything, you’re Lee Taeyong! Dance major!” Johnny cheers, and Taeyong blushes at his friends words.

 

“You guys are way too kind…” Taeyong sighs, “Thank you.”

 

Taeyong falls silence once more, his eyes training to the field in front of him, and they know he’s thinking again.

 

“Tae,”

 

“I’ll be okay, besides don’t you guys have exams to study for?” Taeyong asks, “I know I do, but what about you guys?”

 

“Yeah, but..” Doyoung opens his mouth, but closes it in defeat knowing Taeyong won’t take anything other than ‘you’re right’ for an answer. He looks at Johnny for help, but he too is incapable to say something. So, there’s an uncomfortable silence, you could probably hear a pin drop from five yards away.

 

Taeyong doesn’t even want to consider this overthinking, but he doesn’t know what to consider it. He’s thinking way too much about how the outcome of the final will be, but also not necessarily thinking it’s going to go bad. He knows he’s been practicing nonstop, that he’s been taking extra night shifts to have more time to practice in the mornings. He knows, _really knows_ that he’s got nothing truly to worry about other than his tendency to panic or fall offbeat with the music. This is something he really wants, if he’s in the top of the final scores he’s able to participate in the district championship and then if he gets top five there he moves to sectionals. He’s desired this longer than anything, and never had a chance to participate in them before. It’s a free and guaranteed spot, his father would be so proud of him.

 

So yes, Taeyong is extremely nervous about this, and he can’t fail this. He just _can’t_. He has to perfect it, maybe even beyond perfect.

 

He stands abruptly, taking the other two boys from thought.

 

“I’m going to practice,” he decides, “see you guys later?”

 

“Be careful… Drink water!” Doyoung says, and Johnny nods in agreement.

 

“Don’t push yourself,” Johnny adds.

 

“I won’t, I have to go now.” Taeyong smiles and waves goodbye, and then disappears out of their line of sight.

 

Maybe four hours later, Johnny finds himself at the convenience store with Yuta and Sicheng, who are bickering over the type of milk to get.

 

“Just get whole milk,” Yuta complains, “Come on, you’re not that picky are you?”

 

“Two percent would be a better option,” Sicheng replies, annoyed. Johnny comes up behind both of them, and looks at the milk above their shoulders.

 

“I’m lactose intolerant,” Johnny lies, reaching over the both of them and grabbing the almond milk sitting at the top shelf, “I win.”

 

“You’re such a brat, Johnny!” Yuta calls after him, “And a liar!”

 

Johnny laughs, because he can practically hear the pout in his voice over the laughter of Sicheng. Johnny checks out their groceries and then calls after his friends, who are still bickering over something he can’t really pinpoint, but they’re always doing it so god knows what.

 

“Wanna stop by the apartment then we can go for dinner before Taeyong’s show?” Johnny suggests, and they stop fighting to agree.

 

The walk falls silent as the two boys grow comfortable in each others hold, hand in hand and shoulder to shoulder. Sicheng has his head rested on the shoulder of Yuta, and despite him being the taller, he looks so small next to Yuta like that. It’s soft and a warm moment that makes Johnny smile, he’s happy see Yuta so happy, because he’s his best friend and he only wants what’s best for him. Johnny definitely yearns for that, being able to hold someone. Taeyong. _Taeyong._

 

Johnny catches up with them, and they jump in surprise when he quite literally almost plows into him, but laugh at his clumsiness.

 

“Are you excited to see Taeyong preform?” Yuta asks, “He’s been dying for you to go, Doyoung told me.”

 

“Since when are you close with Doyoung?” Johnny teases, “But yes, I am. He’s worked hard and I’m excited to see him get recognition for it.”

 

Around five, the boys pick up Doyoung, Jaehyun, and Taeyong from Jaehyun’s dorm and make their way to dinner. Taeyong is quite jittery, so out of support and the desire to just touch him, Johnny holds his hand with reassurance. He’s still shaking, but a lot less now. An hour earlier, Taeyong had mentioned how excited he was to show them his performance outfit, and that it was _scandalous_. Intriguing, Johnny thought.

 

Scandalous is a bold word choice. It can mean disgraceful, atrocious, monstrous, Taeyong’s dance is anything but, so he finds the two things clashing, but maybe it’ll work out. The word scandalous is a word Johnny thought he’d never heard from a boy like Taeyong’s mouth. Maybe it’s a good thing, and it’s supposed to prevail the raw emotion that’s supposed to show a hidden meaning that is graceful to the human eyes but disgraceful beneath the surface.

 

“You think too much, John,” Yuta says, snapping his fingers in front of Johnny’s eyes, making Johnny go red.

 

Johnny swatted at Yuta’s hand and scowls, “You think too little.”

 

Yuta fakes a gasp and places a hand over his heart, and the others laugh.

 

“Are you still nervous Taeyong?” Jaehyun asks, and Taeyong shrugs a little bit, dipping his head down to look at his pasta. He stirs it around for a bit, while the others wait in silence awaiting to see if he’ll respond.

 

“Not as much anymore.” Taeyong sighs, “I’m more nervous about the crowd than I am about my performance.”

 

“You’re going to be blindfolded,” Doyoung says, “you’ll be okay.”

 

Taeyong leaves with Doyoung an hour earlier than the rest to make it to the final on time and get ready. Doyoung has to set up his booth for the music, and Taeyong has to change and warm up, even some of his teammates are excited to watch Taeyong’s performance, as it’s been practiced to perfection. His friends from his dance even say that he has a guaranteed a spot in district. But, Taeyong feels that it’s way too hard and the teacher would probably be really picky with her grading.

 

The time to perform comes way too quickly, and Taeyong feels the nerves in his stomach pile up once more as he sees the teacher and judges looking disinterested in most of the dances that are before him. He can see his friends in the audience, and accidentally locks eyes with Johnny, who waves him a thumbs gently, and Taeyong smiles softly.

 

 _‘Thank you, Mark! Beautiful performance. So finally, we have Lee Taeyong, performing the the song ‘Born to Die’ by Lana Del Rey!’_ The announcer calls, and Doyoung rubs his shoulders helps tie the blindfold around his eyes. The music plays gently, and Taeyong steps out onto the floor gracefully.

 

The crowd is in awe of his outfit, the sheer lacy black top, with fairly long pants accompanied to with a long, black, open front lace skirt pooling around his ankles. The moves were stunning, his gracefulness and body movements were smooth to the rhythm.

 

Even with the blindfold over his eyes it was as if he could see.

 

Johnny eyed him, he was completely silent, tuning everything else around him out, including even the music. It’s sound didn’t even register in his ears, him just watching as Taeyong rose, fell, flew, leapt, and other things Johnny couldn’t remember the name of. He begins to twirl, the skirt flowed around him, drifting from the places he once was and back to twist around him. Harsh, but delicate moves. He drifts to the other side of the stage, his his body memorizing it with each step further he took, then he slowly drifts and sinks into the splits. No longer than a minute later, as if Johnny could sense the music coming to an end, it suddenly went up in volume and the song was beginning to die out, Taeyong sank to his knees and rested his body on the ground. He was breathing heavily, and after the music is cut off, he stands, face to the crowd and takes off his blindfold, and somehow locks eyes with Johnny, who is looking at him in amazement and awe. Even despite Johnny seeing this dance multiple times before, he still finds himself lost in it.

 

Taeyong waves and turns to his teacher who is talking with other judges, longer than needed. When they all finally nod, one of them smiles at him, then clicks the button to secure the score and grade.

 

_237 points_

_Grade: A+_

 

If Taeyong wasn’t overwhelmed with the happiness of being the top score, he would’ve passed out, but Doyoung runs onto stage alongside his other friends who envelope him into a hug and congratulate him. The crowd is fairly ecstatic, and Taeyong tries to find the welcoming eyes of Johnny, but he isn’t there anymore. He almost feels bad, but then he hears his name called and Johnny is by the entrance door, holding his arms out. His friends allow him to go, and Taeyong almost plows himself into the embrace. God it feels so good, it feels so good to hug the person you love.

 

❥

 

Taeyong making it into the district champions was a fairly big deal, according to a lot of the people in his biochemistry class. They say he’s got the record high score, and that he’s got the highest score in the district. Which, to Johnny, is a good thing. However, it totally overwhelms Taeyong, who isn’t use to so many people gushing over his work. He remembers getting teased when he first got into the college, because he was on a scholarship and they said he’s only in out of pity. His friends say that he proved them wrong though, and Taeyong likes to think so too.

 

In the weeks leading up to the championship, the boy was working long and hard, and also taking more shifts at his job to save up some money for it. Johnny was of course worried, but Doyoung reassured him that Taeyong definitely can handle something like this, and Johnny knows he can, but he still feels bad. Through the course of the next few weeks, Taeyong’s hair is dyed white, and he’s glowing. No one can say they’ve ever seen Taeyong this happy before, not since he got accepted for a scholarship. He’s also changed his outfit to white, which he claimed to be way more fit for the song.

 

Very beautiful, very very beautiful.

 

Johnny was sitting on a bench, his notebook in hand finishing up his notes for Biochemistry. The day was pretty warm for it being about eight degrees celsius. Not warm enough to not wear a jacket, or at least something light, but it’s warm enough for people to be outside and walking around. A few girls and boys were by the pond, taking photos, a couple was sitting on the bench across the park from him. A hand grabbed his shoulder, making him jump and almost drop everything in his lap.

 

“Geez, Johnny it’s just me,” Yuta laughed, “What’re ya doin’ lover boy?”

 

“Notes,” Johnny replies, “Like you should be doing. Don’t you have exams in two weeks?”

 

“Yeah.” Yuta groans, “Thanks for the reminder.”

 

The rosey gold haired boy plops down next to him and dramatically lays onto his shoulder, looking up into Johnny’s eyes, who are anywhere but focused on the boy laying on him. Yuta sighs again, but louder this time.

 

“What do you want?” Johnny lolls his head back, as if asking it to the sky. Yuta sits up and smiles.

 

“Well… Me and Sicheng were going to go on a date tomorrow, yeah?” Yuta starts, “So, we wanted to ask you if you wanted to take Taeyong on a double date with us, and you two can get a little frisky for once-”

 

Johnny whacks a hand across the back of his head, and Yuta pouts.

 

“What was that for!”

 

“Listen, I’m not gonna ask him on a date..” Johnny replies, “I will, but not now. He’s too stressed, I don’t wanna put more stress on him.”

 

“I know,” Yuta sighs, “You been in love for him for so long, though. Doesn’t it suck waiting so long?”

 

“I’d wait forever for him,” Johnny says, “I’m not as confident as I seem.”

 

“Johnny,” Yuta states, “Long John, Johnny boy, John-”

 

“Yuta,”

 

“-ster - I know, dude. Trust me, we’ve been friends for like what? Ten years?” Yuta hums, “You’re anything but confident! But, you’ve got dignity.”

 

“Yuta,”

 

“Lighten up, alright? Taeyong likes you, nothing's gonna change whether you tell him now or later-” Yuta stops himself, and Johnny looks at him with raised eyebrows.

 

“Yeah, this conversation is over,” Johnny puts his notebook into his backpack and then his laptop, “See you later, Tata!”

 

Yuta flushes at the nickname, and kicks him before he can get too far.

 

“Suck my dick, Seo!”

 

Johnny pulls out his phone, distractedly walking and texting as he was about to just reply to Yuta’s comment with _‘not if sicheng does it first lol’_ but he runs into someone, causing them both to tumble to the ground with collective ‘shit’s emitting from the others mouth. Johnny groans and rubs his elbow, and looks to see who he just totalled on the sidewalk.

 

“Sorry,” Johnny realizes he just plowed over a small kid, or maybe a teenager, he can’t really tell because they’re wearing a hoodie way too big for them, and he can’t see their face - nonetheless he has no idea what they’re doing on a college campus anyways, but he holds a hand out and the hooded person gratefully takes it and Johnny pulls them up.

 

“Ah, no. It was my fault,” Johnny now recognizes the person as a boy, their voice giving it away, and then they pull their hood down, “I wasn’t looking where I was going, i’m actually looking at this college to see if I wanna go here next year, but like my friend, Jeno, got lost and he’s not answering his phone.. So I was texting him and totally ran into you without looking-” The boy rambles it out in quick sentences, and Johnny blinks.

 

“Hey, kid, don’t worry.. I was texting my friend too, we’re both at fault here,” he laughs, “And you wanna go here, what major are you thinking of joining?”

 

“Ah, okay,” he says, “And I’m probably going to go into Graphic Arts.”

 

“Interesting,” Johnny says, “I’m a third year Aerospace Engineering major.”

 

“Woah! That’s so cool, my friend Jeno wants to go to space one day,” he grins sloppily, “He’s such a bright kid too! He’s gonna major in Astronomy!”

 

“I’m sorry, I don’t think I introduced myself,” Johnny smiles, “I’m Johnny Seo.”

 

“I’m Huang Renjun,” he holds out his hand, and Johnny takes it in his, “Happy to meet you.”

 

“Jun!” the two boys snap their a fairly tall boy with brown hair, waving in their direction. Johnny assumes that he’s Jeno, Renjun’s friend. When he runs up, he quickly wraps an arm around Renjuns shoulders and tightens his grip, “Is this guy bothering you?”

 

“If he was, in which he isn’t, I wouldn’t be talking to him,” Renjun replies, then slithers from Jeno’s hold, “His name is Johnny hyung, he’s a third year which means treat him with respect!”

 

Renjun scolds him, and Johnny kinda laughs.

 

“I don’t mind, there’s no need for honorifics.”

 

“Ah, okay,” Jeno responds, “I just didn’t want anyone messing with Renjun, i’m sorry for doubting you.”

 

“Hate to be invasive, but I couldn’t help but notice the Seoul District Championship pamphlet in peeking out of your side pocket, you dance?” Renjun smiles, “I do too - but Jeno here is going to the championships too!”

 

“No no, not me, my good friend Taeyong is, I’m just reading the pamphlet so I know what’s going on,” Johnny says, and then Renjun claps his hands.

 

“We saw his performance on youtube!” he says excitedly, “It was so emotional and eye catching, he’s a legend at our dance studio.”

 

“Yeah, he is,” Jeno continues, “He got the highest known score, so he must be pretty good, it makes me nervous.”

 

“I’m sure you’ll do fine,” Johnny replies reassuringly, with a nod.

 

“Oh!” Renjun gasps suddenly, “Jeno we forgot Jaemin at Subway!”

 

“Can’t he just stay there,” Jeno whines, “I’m enjoying my time talking to Johnny…”

 

“Lee Jeno,” Renjun says sternly, “Now, you can’t just leave your boy stranded at a Subway in the middle of a campus he doesn’t know!” Jeno rolls his eyes, but gives in, and the two boys bid goodbye to Johnny, then rush away. Johnny sees Renjun hit the back of his head, and then they turn the corner, so Johnny looks back down at his phone.

 

 _(2)_ **_[Yuta]_ **

 

_Totally saw you plow that kid over. Idiot._

 

_See u tonite ;D_

 

**_[To: Yuta]_ **

 

_Ass. Watch ur back. Plans #cancelled_

 

**_[Yuta]_ **

 

_I’m wounded._

 

_D;_

 

❥

 

The competition comes too quick. Taeyong is practically a mess, nervously pacing on backstage and probably overthinking everything there is to overthink about. The people before him mentioned the flashing cameras, the quietness, the intensity of the feeling in stage, and the anxiety that coursed through their veins. He heard they’re going to score hard, and Taeyong’s heart definitely can’t take that, just the final performance made him feel sick.

 

Anything can go wrong, but the chances are mostly slight and Doyoung said that Taeyong was practicing so much that he knew the stage like their own, and the movements like the back of his hand. Taeyong took that as praise, but it didn’t help that he was having a hunch that something would go wrong.

 

_Whatever goes wrong, keep pushing and don’t fall back. You’ve waited so long for this. Be proud._

 

As another performer comes backstage, they don’t look as in distress as the others did. His brown hair damp with sweat, and him still catching his breath, but nonetheless the boy looked quite proud.

 

“How was it?” Taeyong asks casually, locking his fingers together.

 

“Fine, I believe, I think my score won’t be bad. They looked pleased with it.” He responds, and Taeyong nods, “You’re Taeyong right?”

 

“I-I am,” Taeyong smiles softly.

 

“I’m such a fan, I hope you do well,” the boy grins back at him, “I’m Jeno.”

 

“Nice to meet you Jeno, I hope all goes well for you,” Taeyong holds out his hand, and the two share a handshake.

 

“Well, I have to go see my boyfriend Jaemin, he’s backstage and my other boyfriend is in the crowd. Jaemin controls the lights and stuff, isn’t that cool?”

 

“Yeah, the lights have been awesome, tell him good job for me, alright?” Taeyong says, and Jeno nods in confirmation.

 

“Alright,” Jeno then disappears behind all the other dancers, and Doyoung comes up behind him suddenly, placing a hand on his shoulder.

 

“You’re after the intermission, just remember take deep breaths and remember to focus. Act like you’re back in the studio alone, it’ll be quiet enough.”

 

“Yeah, okay,” Taeyong nods, “I can do that.”

 

He paces back and forth, barely listening to Doyoung’s reassuring words. “Yong,” his friend says, “you can do this, I believe in you. Johnny will love your performance no matter what, he’s head over heels for you.”

 

Taeyong blushes slightly, but he feels a little better. Intermission passes in almost no time at all and suddenly Taeyong is walking across stage, lights bright in his eyes. He catches sight of Johnny in the audience and feels a burst of happiness, seeing him there, as dependable as always. Giving Johnny a shaky smile, he takes position in the center of the stage and ties the black silk blindfold over his eyes.

 

The music starts and he’s lost in the melody, letting muscle memory guide him through the first steps. His bare feet connect with the floor in time with the beat and his arms move together in fluid motions.

 

He feels graceful with his limbs in constant motion, as if he could float away from the stage at any moment. Taeyong’s mind is only free from his troubles when he dances. Dancing is like his heaven, one where he can’t be bothered by his mortal grievances amidst graceful leaps and weightless pirouettes.

 

It’s what Taeyong imagines angels feel like, fluttering above the clouds with feathery white wings. His long skirt flows with him, swishing behind his legs and falling in slow motion with every jump.

 

With each twist of his body, he feels lighter and lighter. Taeyong’s toes are perfectly pointed and each pivot is an exhilarating thrill. A few seconds later, he realizes he’s made a mistake. His pace is a beat off and he loses balance, slipping in the middle of a high leap.

 

Tumbling to the ground, he feels his ankle twist unnaturally and winces in pain. Taeyong knows he can’t stop, so he keeps going. Tears are welling up in his eyes, hidden behind his blindfold. He counts down each second left of the song, blistering pain shooting up his leg with every movement. His leg feels heavy, pulling him down to the ground as he tries to complete the sequence without any more mistakes,

 

Each time his foot hits the ground, his head feels lighter and he thinks he’ll pass out. Somehow Taeyong manages to make the transition from a simple glide to a drawn-out twirl and blindly makes his way backstage.

 

He doesn’t make it, collapsing in a heap right before the curtain. Vaguely, he can hear Doyoung yell at someone backstage. Taeyong feels his friend’s gentle fingers untie the blindfold and wipe the tears away from his eyes.

 

The lights are too bright, the sounds of the audience too loud. Doyoung carefully gathers him into his arms and carries him backstage. Taeyong’s head is pounding and his ankle is white-hot with pain. He buries his head into Doyoung’s neck, crying harder.

 

Doyoung murmurs comforting words to him, sounding stressed as he talks to someone. Taeyong thinks he can hear Johnny in the distance, but he drifts away, feeling heavy and light all at once.

 

❥

 

Johnny knew from the moment he saw the stumble that something was off, he could practically feel the pain that Taeyong probably felt and he was sure people around him could feel it too, but didn’t comment on it. The movements were still graceful and as beautiful as ever, but Johnny wanted Taeyong to stop, he knows that something is wrong.

 

So when Taeyong refrains from going into his actually finished position, and decides on finishing by disappearing off stage, Johnny feels his stomach twist.

 

Then it actually happens, before Taeyong can even make it back stage, his body collapses onto the ground and he hears audible gasps from the crowd. Doyoung is by his side in second, and he takes the blindfold off, Doyoung wiping probable tears off the cheeks of his friend. Johnny is gone in seconds as well, out of the theatre and towards the backstage entrance. He’s almost not allowed in, but then someone (Jeno, god bless his soul) recognizes him and allows him in. Jeno walks him to where Doyoung is talking to someone he doesn’t recognize. When Doyoung sees him, his heart is obliterated into millions of pieces, seeing Taeyong lay in his friends arms, tears still streaming down his face, but he looks completely out of it.

 

“I saw him fall,” Johnny says, “His tumble, he definitely hurt his ankle..”

 

“I saw it happen, and I knew that his stubbornness would get the best of him and he’d continue,” Doyoung replies, “I was going to call an ambulance, but I think it’d be better to just drive, it’s easier.”

 

The ride to the hospital was fairly silent, Taeyong was still quiet in the backseat, now able to regain focus and look out the window absentmindedly. He hadn’t spoke much, as he’s probably thinking about the competition and maybe the pain in his ankle. Johnny eyes the younger through the rear view mirror.

 

“Taeyong, why did you continue if you were injured?” Doyoung asks, “I know you’re stubborn and don’t wanna give up, but what if you just made the break worse?”

 

Taeyong is silent, and after a few moments he looks at his lap, “You don’t understand.”

 

“I do understand Taeyong, but what I don’t understand is you not even trying to recognize the outcomes of your actions. What if you hurt something else?” Doyoung could almost be mistaken as a mother, by the scolding and disappointment laced in his words. Johnny wants to say something too, but has a hard time even thinking about what to say in a moment like this.

 

“Doyoung, I don’t need your scolding...” Taeyong whispers, it could be inaudible to the ear if it hadn’t been so deadly silent in the car at the moment, “I did what I had to do...”

 

“I’m sorry, TY, _had_ to do? You _had_ to continue after injuring yourself?” Doyoung’s grip tightens on the steering wheel and his jaw clenches, “I don’t think you understand, Taeyong.”

 

Johnny has never seen Doyoung angry, and admittedly it was scary in a way. Taeyong doesn’t flinch at his tone though, he just blinks back his tears and bites his lip.

 

“Doyoung,” Taeyong wants to say something more, Johnny knows he does, but nothing seems to be able to escape his lips other than his friends name. Johnny turns to face Taeyong, instead of just looking at him through the rear view mirror.

 

“Taeyong, injuries like this are really serious,” Johnny says, “the fact you’re a dancer as well… is even bigger.”

 

“I get it, I really do…” Taeyong replies softly, “I just… I just wanted to make my dad proud.”

 

“Was he there?”

 

“He didn’t get a chance to make it, he had work and I know he needs the money, so I promised I’d do well for him,” Taeyong doesn’t look up, instead, he lets a tear fall into his lap, “The award for winning was one million won.”

 

“Oh Taeyong,” Johnny whispers, “Your dad will always be proud of you no matter what, he loves you, so be strong for him.”

 

“Okay..”

 

Arriving at the emergency was very anticlimactic, Johnny carried Taeyong in on his back, then he was rolled into a room forty five minutes later on a wheelchair, the doctor took him away for x rays then they waited an hour before the return of a different doctor.

 

“Hi, I’m Dr. Chae, I’ll be going over the x rays with you alright?” Taeyong nodded, and then he projected the x rays on the screen and pointed at the spot of the break, “You unfortunately broke your achilles tendon, and due to the severity of the break you will need surgery. Un-”

 

“ _Surgery?”_ Taeyong gasps, his jaw falls and panic is evident in his eyes. Johnny and Doyoung share a worried glance.

 

“Unfortunately, this kind of break is really common amongst dancers. They tend to ‘dance through the pain’, which causes a tear, and makes it a subject to rupture,” The doctor looks at his clipboard, “and by reading what happened provided by your friend, you participated in a dance competition and hurt it in the middle of your dance, but continued to push through it?”

 

“Yes sir,”

 

“I see, I’m very sorry to say this, but you will go into surgery soon following this, and we’ll discuss the recovery time and such afterwards,” The doctor leaves, and Taeyong presses his head into his hand and holds back a cry. Doyoung and Johnny are quick to comfort him and sooth him.

 

The only thing that went through Taeyong’s mind at that moment was, _what if I never dance again?_ Taeyong can feel a migraine come in, his hands slowly getting clammy as his senses weaken into sensitivity. Doyoung is rubbing his shoulders, but it’s somehow less comforting to him than it should be. Taeyong digs his fingers into his hairline and lets out a small whimper.

 

“Hey, TY, stop that,” Johnny mumbles, and frees Taeyong’s grip from his face. Taeyong flinches at the light and lets out a soft squeak. The two standing sigh, and have Taeyong lay down until the doctor returns.

 

When he does come back, he draws his blood then put an IV into his arm, and the whole process it silent. Taeyong is wheeled out and Doyoung and Johnny are instructed to stay in the lobby, as the surgery is short and most likely only going to take an hour. They follow accordingly. There’s an awkward silence, neither boy really knew what to talk about.

 

“Has Taeyong ever been injured before?”

 

Doyoung snaps out of whatever trance he was in to look at Johnny, he furrowed his eyebrows, “Sorry, what?”

 

“Has he ever been hurt before?” Johnny repeats, and Doyoung ah’s, then purses his lips.

 

“Once when he was about 13,” Doyoung responds, “he broke his wrist, that’s all I can remember really.”

 

“Oh… How?”

 

“He used to skateboard, and one day he was showing off a trick I showed him and he slipped off his board mid-trick and shattered his bone… It was disgusting.”

 

“Interesting,” Johnny replies, “I’ve never broken a bone before.”

 

“Me neither,” Doyoung replies back, and picks at his skin a little roughly.

 

“Hey, Taeyong will be okay,” Johnny smiles, “He’s really strong and independent, yeah?”

 

“Oh trust me, I know,” Doyoung laughs, but it’s not a heartful one, “I’m just worried, what if he can’t dance anymore? He’s danced for over half his life and if he got that taken away.. I don’t know what I’d do...”

 

“The doctor never said anything about it, I’m sure he’ll be okay,” Johnny reaches a hand over and places it on Doyoung’s, who looks at him nervously.

 

“I don’t know, John-” Doyoung is almost finished, but a doctor walks out and calls their names, and they quickly stood up. The doctor smiled at them.

 

“I’ve already gone over this with Taeyong, as he finished surgery about ten minutes ago, we had to talk to him before anything,” The doctor says, then he flips a page on his clipboard and taps a pen against the board, “So, the recovery time for this kind of surgery is about six to twelve weeks until he’s able to put weight on it, he’ll have to participate in exercises daily to regain strength in it, and this is a little on the sad side, he must wait six months for the full recovery. Which means he will not be able to dance for the next six months...”

 

“God, how did he take it?” Doyoung asks, “Is he okay?”

 

“He’s a little sad, but he’s glad it’s not permanent,” he smiles, “Well, let’s get you to go see him?” The two boys nod and follow him into a room where they see Taeyong looking spaced out.

 

“TY!” Doyoung shouts, and rushes by him, Taeyong looks at him drowsily.

 

“Oh, right.. He may be a little out of it due to the morphine…” Doctor Chae laughs, “Just to help with the pain, he’ll be back to normal in no time.”

 

“Doyoung…” Taeyong draws out, “Hi!”

 

“Hi, Ty,” Doyoung laughs, “Johnny is here too!”

 

“Johnny?!” Taeyong smiles, “Where is he?” The older slightly pouts, and Johnny poked himself into the room a little bit more so Taeyong could see him, and then slightly strided over to his side.

 

“Hey, Tae.”

 

“Johnny, did you know that you’re really pretty… like your eyes and lips… and you always smell really good…” Taeyong says lazily, and Johnny flushes a soft pink color and stutters out a breath.

 

“Taeyong,” Johnny mumbles. Doyoung laughs.

 

“Johnny, I really wanna kiss you,” Taeyong whines a little quietly.

 

This may have been the morphine talking, but Doyoung was biting back a laugh as Johnny became extremely blushy at Taeyong’s words. The one thing the two boys couldn’t seem to confidently say to each other was spat out as if it were nothing. By the time Johnny could compose himself and respond, the younger was asleep soundly with his head tilted towards the window.

 

Doyoung just rubbed his head and laughed once more.

 

❥

 

Johnny is sitting at the end of Taeyong’s bed, the boy asleep behind him after he just did his daily exercise, it obviously wearing him out. The time was roughly around eleven pm, and the others (including Taeyong’s roommate) had gone to a New Years party at _‘Blossom Bay’_ where food was fifty percent off from five to twelve. Johnny offered to stay back with Taeyong, as he still was on crutches and couldn’t really do anything other than sit around.

 

Anything to stay with Taeyong alone of course, and to help him the most he can. Johnny hums softly, a tune to a song he can’t really remember and a sudden idea flows into his train of thought.

 

_Maybe I should kiss Taeyong on New Years._

 

Johnny ponders the thought for a bit before coming to the conclusion:

 

_I have to do this. Now or never._

 

“Taeyong, wanna go to the fields behind _‘Blossom Bay’_ and watch the fireworks?” Johnny questions, and Taeyong sleepily rolls over and sits up.

 

“Right now?”

 

“Yeah, New Years is in forty five minutes.” Johnny replies, and gets off the bed to slide on his shoes, and Taeyong lazily pushes the covers off of him and winces at the cold.

 

“It’s so cold,” he pouts, and rubs the sleep from his eyes. Johnny smiles cheekily at him.

 

“You can wear my sweatshirt, if you’d like?”

 

“Oh,” Taeyong blushes, “I mean, uhm sure…” Johnny grabs his sweatshirt off the bed and hands it to Taeyong, whose cheeks are a dark red color, and he slips it on.

 

“Here let me help you out,” Johnny strides over to Taeyong’s side and grabs his hand to help him stand up, then gives the younger his crutches so he can move with Johnny down the hallway, and down to the parking lot, “I’ll hail a cab down.”

 

Hailing a cab down on New Years was probably the hardest thing to do, but Johnny knew that the cab drivers were definitely worn out from drunk adults and most likely high teenagers trying to get around, so he reminds himself to give the driver a little more than what it would cost.

 

When one finally comes barling towards them, them comes to a complete stop, a nice woman greets them with a smile and offers the front seat for Taeyong’s crutches, which Taeyong bows gratefully at with a soft _thank you,_ then proceeds to get into the back with the help of Johnny.

 

“Blossom Bay, please,” Johnny smiles sweetly, the lady nods and then takes off onto the road.

 

Johnny takes this moment to look at Taeyong, whose eyes are looking out into the city streets, looking at the buildings passing by, the blurs of cars and people who move against the direction of the car. Johnny thinks he looks very beautiful, his hair slightly longer, and now a red color, with the roots dark and the lighter is at the ends of his hair. Even if it’s slightly damaged, Johnny thinks this hairstyle fits Taeyong perfectly and holds himself back from running a hand through it. Taeyong’s eyes close, and his head is soon resting against the window and his breathing steadies into a rest.

 

The ride is about fourteen minutes, and by the Time they’re there, Johnny doesn’t even notice. He’s been dozed off looking at Taeyong, who is resting. The lady parks and smiles.

 

“That will be forty five thousand won, please,” she says, breaking the silence. Taeyong jolts awake, and Johnny quickly fishes through his pocket and hands her around sixty thousand won, and smiles gently.

 

“Keep the extra change,” Johnny pats her hand, and then begins to help the younger out of the car. The woman thanks him kindly.

 

When they’re both out, they thank the woman, and wave goodbye. Taeyong looks at the party inside and kinda pouts.

 

“That’s too much for me,” he decides, “I wanna ditch my crutches and go to the hills. Like you said.”

 

“I never mentioned ditching your crutches,” Johnny reminds, and Taeyong crosses his arms to the best of his ability.

 

“I mean, you can just carry me.” The shorter days blankly, “Doyoung’s car is right there.”

 

He points to a silver car parked at the front of the parking lot, and Johnny flushed a soft red color and looks away.

 

“Do you want me to carry you?” Johnny tests, and Taeyong blushes back.

 

“Yeah, I can’t really walk fully yet, it’s only been two weeks,” Taeyong reminds, but it’s a little silent and Johnny almost doesn’t hear him.

 

“Alright, let’s put your crutches in Doyoung’s car,” Johnny responds, “Is it unlocked?”

 

“Yeah, it’s never locked!” Taeyong laughs, “He’s clumsy and forgetful!”

 

Johnny nods, and then follows Taeyong to the car, and opens the back door and the crutches are set on the ground.

 

“Get on my back,” Johnny instructs, and with one foot Taeyong hops onto the back of the older and he then shuts the door and begins the walk up the trail towards the hills. The fuzz from Johnny’s hood is comforting and Taeyong cuddles into it.

 

“What time is it?”

 

Johnny bites his lip, and then pulls his phone out to check the time.

 

“Eleven thirty eight,” Johnny replies, and they finally make it to the first picnic bench that’s directly on top of the hill, with a perfect view of the sky. He sets Taeyong on the bench and nervously sits down next to him, his eyes looking to the ground.

 

“How are you feeling?” Johnny asks, “You know, like actually?”

 

“If I’m honest? I guess alright,” The younger sighs, “I hate not being able to dance, it’s like torture.”

 

“I can tell,” Johnny frowns.

 

“But, I made a friend, now that I spend most of my time in the library, I met a boy named Jungwoo,” Taeyong explains, “very shy and timid though.”

 

“Oh, I know Jungwoo,” Johnny says, “he’s really nice when you get him to open up.”

 

“That’s lovely,” Taeyong smiles, “I’m very bored, the fireworks will look really beautiful from here though, so I’m not disappointed.”

 

“I agree.”

 

“I’m glad I get to spend my New Years with you, Johnny,” Taeyong hums, “I’m happy we’re close.”

 

“Me as well, TY,” Johnny replies back, and Johnny peeks at the time. Eleven fifty eight.

 

Time really did fly by.

 

“Taeyong?” Johnny says nervously, “I wanna tell you something, and I’m nervous to tell you… but I wanna let you know that I have feelings for you. I think about you all the time, and like to picture us together; god I’ve so badly wanted to just hold your hand whenever I wanted and hug you all the time. You’re so cute and so lovable,” Johnny can distinctly hear counting down in the distance, _ten, nine, eight,_ “Taeyong,” _seven, six,_ “Can you be my New Years kiss?” _five, four:_

 

“Yes, Johnny,” Taeyong says breathlessly, _three, two, one…_

 

Johnny doesn’t hesitate any longer and collides their mouths together, and places a hand on Taeyong’s cheek. It makes the younger melt into his touch and Johnny is able to deepen the kiss. The fireworks are loud in their ears, but they tune out the noise and focus on each other. Taeyong lips are warm and soft, he tastes like that peppermint toothpaste he refuses to admit he uses, and Johnny is fucking dying.

 

When the kiss is broken, Johnny blushes a deep color and clears his throat.

 

“You have no idea how long I’ve been waiting to do that,” Johnny mumbles, he helps Taeyong sit up and smiles warmly.

 

“I’m glad you kissed me,” Taeyong says, “I’ve been waiting too…”

 

“Want a kiss?” Johnny asks, then pulls a kiss out. Taeyong laughs, taking it from Johnny, “Remember the first time I asked if you wanted one?”

 

“Yeah… Not lying I thought you were asking if you could kiss me.”

 

“I figured, I didn’t really clarify,” Johnny hums, “Would you of said yes if offered an actual kiss?”

 

Taeyong nods and leans against the older, resting his head against Johnny’s shoulder and closing his eyes. It’s a moment Johnny marks as a core memory. The day he got the love of his life, the day he kissed him. He’s glad he did it now then never, because now he gets to hold Taeyong whenever he wants without having to be worried about anything.

 

The smaller next to him opens his eyes and looks up, smiling as he sees Johnny lost in thought.

 

It’s a moment like this that Johnny realizes he’s been missing out on so much, he somehow just couldn’t fathom the thought of Taeyong actually being his, whether it was two years ago when he first fell for him, or if it was a couple months ago when he found that there was nothing he could do other than hope that fate would intertwine them and they’d be together. It’s times like this where Johnny realizes that in any case, they’d eventually fall into each others arms. If anything, there is nowhere Johnny would rather be than looking at the fireworks, the boy he’s loved for so long leaning against him. It’s the first day of the new year, and as cheesy as it may sound there’s a part of him that says this is the beginning of a new him. A new _them._ He smiles and lays his head on Taeyong’s.

 

“Taeyong,” says Johnny, his hand lands in the youngers hair softly, he slightly rubs it and he smiles, “I love you.”

 

The boy next to him sits up, slightly wincing at the sudden pressure change on his ankle and gives Johnny the softest dough eyes he has ever seen. There’s a small sad smile on his face, and he places his hand on Johnny’s.

 

“Johnny, I love you too,” as if on the verge of tears, Taeyong laughs lightly and smiles a little wider, “I’ve loved you for so long.”

 

Johnny cries, and it takes everything in Taeyong’s power to not cry himself. He just runs his hand through the older’s hair, whispering soft words to him to make him stop. It’s a lot to take in, pining after someone for so long, having the fear of rejection on your mind, thinking this love thing could just ruin everything.

 

He stops crying after Taeyong wobbles on his knees in front of him. When he looks up, Taeyong smiles at him. It’s so warm, even if it is zero degrees celsius outside. They hug, it’s long and loving.

 

“Don’t cry anymore Johnny,” Taeyong whispers in his ears, “We’re gonna be okay.”

 

“I know,” replies Johnny, he sighs softly, “It feels so unreal.”

 

“I know, baby,” Taeyong says, then pulls away.

 

“Yuta is gonna fucking pass out,” Johnny laughs, “He’s been on my ass about this for the longest time.”

 

“You think Yuta is gonna flip?” Taeyong gasps, “Taeil is literally going to throw me for not keeping him updated!”

 

“Well, at least we have their moral support,” Johnny hums, “Do you think they saw us kiss?”

 

“Probably not,”

 

Just as the words fall from Taeyong’s mouth, Johnny’s phone buzzes.

 

**_[Yuta]_ **

 

_[Attachment 1 image]_

 

_WHJDDSFJSK YOU FUCKING KISSED_

_HIM_

 

**_[To: Yuta]_ **

 

_don’t freak out, freak_

_Yeah we did_

_did you kiss Sicheng?_

 

**_[Yuta]_ **

 

_This isn’t abt me bitch_

 

**_[To: Yuta]_ **

 

_so you didn’t_

 

**_[Yuta]_ **

 

_WTF no i did_

_He tastes like honey_

_Mhmhmhmhmhmh_

_you know what else probably_

_tastes like honey_

 

**_[To: Yuta]_ **

 

_I don’t wanna know_

 

**_[Yuta]_ **

 

_Honey Nut Cheerios_

 

**_[To: Yuta]_ **

 

_oh_

_eye totally thought you were gonna_

_say his ass_

 

**_[Yuta]_ **

 

_and his ass_

_……………_

_i mean_

_\---_

 

**_[To: Yuta]_ **

 

_nevermind_

_but yes i did kiss taeyong_

_it was amazing_

 

**_[Yuta]_ **

 

_My son received the bread_

 

**_[To: Yuta]_ **

 

_I’m older than you_

 

**_[Yuta]_ **

 

_So is ur mom_

 

**_[To: Yuta]_ **

 

_taeyong tastes like_

_peppermint_

_Mm._

 

**_[Yuta]_ **

 

_Whack_

 

“Yuta just messaged me,” Johnny is still smiling, “He saw us kiss, but guess what? He kissed Sicheng.”

 

“Oh, wow.” Taeyong smiles, “I guess it’s about time for them as well.”

 

The two sit comfortably, watching as the fireworks finally come to a stop and the sky fades back to just the stars. Coldness finally makes its way between the warmth of the two, causing shivers to run up their spines and cheeks to flush to a red that wasn’t a blush.

 

“Hey, let’s go down to the others,” says Johnny, hopping off the picnic table.

 

“Alright,”

 

Johnny helps Taeyong onto his back, then they headed back down the hill to the party. There he sees Doyoung slanted with his arms over Jaehyun’s shoulders with his forehead rested comfortably, and Jaehyun who is sitting at one of the outside talking to Lucas, who is sitting next to Jungwoo, who just looks like he wants to go home. Johnny strides over and waves a hand at the four boys, before helping Taeyong sit down and then himself.

 

“How has your New Years been?” Johnny asks kindly, and the two more than awake boys grin.

 

“Really good,” replies Lucas, “How was yours?”

 

“Nice as well,” Johnny responds, “I’ve already completed on thing on my bucket list, though. So I’m off to a really good start.”

 

“Oh?” Jaehyun questions, “It’s only been like fifteen minutes, how’d you manage?”

 

“Easy peasy,” Johnny hums, “Kiss one specific boy at midnight. Done.”

 

“Oh my, I thought you liked Taeyong?” Lucas gasps, “Wow…”

 

“You idiot, Johnny kissed Taeyong,” Jungwoo cuts in, “he’s the specific boy!”

 

“Oh,” says Lucas dumbfoundedly, “In my defense I’m not good at guessing, so being so ominous about it wasn’t that good for me!”

 

Johnny laughs whole-heartedly, Taeyong does as well and looks at the the older fondly, watching as he looks so lively and happy.

 

Happiness is one way to describe the way he’s feeling, perhaps he feels, jubilant, ecstatic, just _joyful_ and _excited._ Johnny holds his hand, he feels warmth rush into his veins, making the touch like fire against his skin. But it feels amazing, and Taeyong is in a state of tranquility.

 

He feels intoxicated by the sweetness. With one swift movement of the olders arm, he feels a rush of intoxication fill his lungs.

 

Johnny places a kiss in his hand, it’s quiet. It’s as if the world disappeared around them. He smiles, looks into Taeyong’s eyes and slightly giggles.

 

“It’s a kiss, for you,” Johnny mumbles out, “You know, as they say… Kisses _are_ better when they’re sweet.”

 

And he’s fallen into _euphoria_.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading!


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